So much Pride. So little time.
With tons of events going on all over town in celebration of queer culture, Pride Week is more like Pride Overload. Really, how much pride can a diverse community continue to display?
To make it easier for those of you who actually have a life but would still like to take part in all the queer merriment, whether you're gay-lesbo-bi-tranny-questioning-blatino-jock-bear-friend-of-Dorothy or whatever the kids are calling themselves these days, WW's come up with a portable, last-minute guide to Pride.
Here are highlights of this week's upcoming activities. To find out what other groups need to get their pride float out of the mothballs, see page 31.
And since Father's Day always takes place on the same day as the big Pride parade, we've come up with a helpful set of icons to signify whether you should take your dad, your "daddy" or some other wonderfully stifling stereotype.
DJ Stormy, the Gender Fluids and Burlesquire, Portland's all-"gale" (gay male) dance crew, show up tonight and put the pressure on flaming fun. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm Friday, June 13. $10 advance, $13 at the door.
TAKE YOUR EX- SISSYBOY.
Black Pride Block Party
Looking for a spot to lick your fingers, or someone else's? Unity Project closes down the street in front of Crush to make way for Portland Black Pride's mix of breakdancing, barbecue and musical performances including New York's KIN. 1400 SE Morrison St., 4 pm- 2 am, Saturday, June 14. unityprojectoregon.org. Free.
TAKE YOUR (BABY) DADDY.
Hold onto your wig! Judges mayor-elect Sam Adams and Madame Bouffant give away prizes for best wig and variations thereof in a bunch o' categories. Don't forget your bobby pins and Aqua Net. Q Center, 69 SE Taylor St., 234-7837. 7-10 pm Thursday, June 12. Free.
TAKE YOUR FAG HAG.
Lady Miss Kier
This fab former Deee-Lite lead singer is Pride's big weekend headliner. She had us back in '90 with smashes like "Groove Is in the Heart," and we have no doubt she'll be killing us softly this year with more addictive choruses to sing along to. Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito Parkway, 823-7529. 8:30 pm Saturday, June 14. $5 donation at the door.
TAKE YOUR FAVORITE DRAG QUEEN.
A variety show featuring performances by the E. Kings, Rose City Sirens, River City Riders and Burlesquire. The Egyptian Club, 3701 SE Division St., 236-8689. 9 pm Thursday, June 12. $5.
TAKE YOUR FAG STAG.
Last year's G4G sold the hell out, so scurry to snatch your ticket up because missing DJ Beyonda and a slew of the West Coast's loveliest go-go dancers would be a pity. Plus, you know you need to add to your "Pride bead collection." Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm Saturday, June 14. $10 advance, $12 at the door.
TAKE YOUR LIPSTICK-LESBIAN TRAINER.
Wanna know what happens when the lights go out? Porn stars magically appear. That's (sort of) the premise of Steam Portland's "Pride 2008 All-Male Experience" party-cum-one-come-all featuring gay-porn guy Josh Vaughn. 2885 NE Sandy Blvd., steamportland.com. Lights out at 10 pm, Saturday, June 14. Prices vary.
TAKE YOUR DADDY.
Block parties ain't got nothing on Red Cap's soiree. Squeeze into leather, lace and love handles and twirl the afternoon away to old-school Stacey Q ("Two of Hearts"), The D-Word, Harmonix, Seth Hutton and NYC's incredibly delicious drag sensation Kevin Aviance. Red Cap Garage, 1035 SW Stark St., 226-4171. 2 pm Sunday, June 15. $5 wristband for all the action.
TAKE YOUR (DRAG) DADDY.
After a night of partying, stumble your sober ass down to the river for this "run" that's supposed to be "fun." Now, where's my cocktail? 11 am Saturday, June 14. Starts under the west end of the Morrison Bridge. $15-$25. pridenw.org.
TAKE YOUR DAD.
"Pitcher" and "catcher" take on a whole new meaning during Pride Week when players from the Rose City Softball Association swing their bats at the Portland Police Bureau at this annual charity baseball game. 11:30 am Saturday, June 14. Farragut Park, North Kerby Avenue and Farragut Street, rosecitysoftball.org. Free.
TAKE YOUR DADDY.
One of the oddest, yet still thoroughly enjoyable, waterfront summer fests, this is the only place in town where you can load up on free lube and expensive eats while you watch the next mayor of P-town chat with a dude in a leather harness and a jockstrap. Better yet, this year it's smoke-free. Waterfront Park, 12:30-10 pm Saturday, 1-6 pm Sunday, June 14-15. Free.
TAKE YOUR DAD AND YOUR DADDY.
Pride Pet Parade
Bulldogs and bull dykes sashay their way across the stage at this always hi-lar-ious pageant of queer culture's four-legged family members. The ones on leashes are the dawgs. 12:30-1:30 pm Saturday, June 14. Festival Main Stage, Waterfront Park. Register at pridenw.org. Free.
TAKE YOUR BITCH.
Dyke March & Trans March
Whoever said feminism is dead has never been to this annual gathering of lipstick lesbos, butchies and shirtless queer gals of all genders. Gather at 6 pm at Northwest 9th Avenue and Davis Street. March at 7 pm Saturday, June 14. dykemarchportland.com. Free.
TAKE YOUR (FTM) DAD.
Leave the duct tape at home, this is one parade that has enough room for everyone. While it can be a bit tedious for those watching (how many gay church groups does it take to make a gay parade? Answer: too many), it's an inspiring kick in the pants for those who participate. Besides, some group is always throwing candy. 11 am Sunday, June 15. Starts at North Park Blocks and Davis Street, ends at Waterfront Park. Free.
TAKE FRIGGIN' EVERYONE.
Pride details, visit pridenw.org.