Top 5 Movies to Watch in Theater Pubs This Week:

1. Hellboy II: The Golden Army: The story of an exotic government reformer with dark secrets. Also known as The Sarah Palin Story. Academy, Laurelhurst, Mission, St. Johns, Valley.

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Indy meets his bastard child. There's probably a Palin family joke here as well. Academy, Avalon, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Milwaukie, Mission, St. Johns, Valley.

3. The Fall: And that's pretty much our jokes for the week. Laurelhurst.

4. Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: We mean, really? Sarah Palin? Laurelhurst.

5. Hancock: We can't even go to the movies anymore. We just want to sit in the dark and weep for our country. Academy, Avalon, Edgefield, Laurelhurst, Milwaukie, Valley.

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