NO. 1: Rank of state Rep. Ben Cannon (D-Southeast Portland) on a list of the “51 hottest politicians in America” by AOL’s “edgy women’s lifestyle site,” Lemondrop.com. Cannon, a married father of one with a “grunge-cute look,” was somehow judged hotter than equally obscure Connecticut Republican state Rep. Kevin Witkos.

“I LOVE POLITICS and public policy, but the ugliness, the anger, the coarseness and even the threats of violence I’ve experienced as a conservative opinion-writer in achingly ‘tolerant’ Portland have contributed to my decision to leave the business after this election. My heart was starting to harden—do we conservatives not have hearts, do we not bleed?—and I didn’t want that to happen.”—Oregonian columnist David Reinhard, explaining in his Oct. 26 column his decision to take a buyout.

HOT DOG! Last week, Democratic Senate candidate Jeff Merkley released a 30-second ad full of praise from Barack Obama, superstar. “With Jeff Merkley in the U.S. Senate, we can get our country back on track,” Obama says, in the first ad in which Obama personally endorses another candidate. This summer, Merkley’s opponent, U.S. Sen. Gordon Smith (R-Ore.), ran ads suggesting he had Obama’s support.

BEATS LOCUSTS: Eastern Oregon’s moose population was reported to be “swelling.”

GET A JOB: Hundreds of ostensibly flesh-eating zombies ambled through downtown Portland and 47 other cities on Oct. 26, World Zombie Day, to raise awareness for global hunger, or something.

MINORITY REPORT: the State DMV began installing facial recognition technology by Beaverton-based Digimarc.

Sorry, folks—this may well be our last chance for Palin jokes.