It's December. What do we do in December? Aside from all that uselessly stressful "shopping" for "presents" and doing daily calculations for the correct amount of layers to properly brave Mother Nature (that bitch), December is the season we don sequins, silver and copious amounts of glitter. Like Burning Man, but less naked. How else are we supposed to actually enjoy this time of year? So, just for you, this week's Consumer Whore is all about getting pretty, loading up on beauty booty and embracing that sparkly, shiny glow you'll need when making the rounds at the five "Bad Holiday Sweater" parties you've been invited to. (Click on the images for a closer look!)

Nostalgia is a strong aphrodisiac, boys. Drakkar worked in high school—and it'll work now. Drakkar Noir, $39.50. The Perfume House, 3328 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-5375,

It's so old Hollywood! Get naked; take this big powder puff; dip it in a big, stinky pile of sparkly powder; and go to town. No puns here. At all. Juicy Couture 3.4 oz. Decadent Dusting Powder. $55. Nordstrom, 245 SW Morrison St., 299-1815, and other locations,

Balding? Give in: It's time to put away the Dippity-Do and pick up a razor. And to make it less traumatic for you, some brilliant man decided to make a blade shaped like a little toy car. Wheee! HeadBlade Sport. $16. Ziva Salon, 610 NW 23rd Ave., 221-6690.

Oooh, pretty. Brightly colored eye shadow. We're talking "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" neon. Ain't nobody gonna miss you in this stuff! Plus, it's made locally by PDX glamazon Lisa Fritsch. Holla! Guerilla Glamour Special Forces Eye Palette. $26. Blush Beauty Bar, 513 NW 23rd Ave., 227-3390,

To the girls on the A-team: If you don't have it, fake it. But if you're not into gluing silicone chicken cutlets on your body, try investing in a really good push-up bra. NuBra, $68; shown with sexy pushup bra by the Little Bra Company, $65. Both at Oh Baby Lingerie, 1811 NE Broadway, 281-7430, and other locations,