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The week, masticated.


Winners & Losers
WINNERSAny roster of winners must include Melissa Borgaard, the SUV driver who survived both a 60-foot plunge off the Morrison Bridge and large gulps of Willamette River water. Credit Borgaard's survi ...   More
 
Wednesday, March 30, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

The NewsCapsule (Patent Pending)


Winners & Losers
WINNERSThe Rosarian People's Liberation Front rejoiced as Rosa Montoya, a single mom, won Roosevelt High School's spot on this year's Rose Festival Court. Traditionalists were shocked as the hidebound ...   More
 
Wednesday, March 23, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

A reductionist and gimmicky news recap™


Winners & Losers
WINNERSLady Luck shook her moneymaker for Portland's gamblers: Two new casino projects aim to take over the city's moribund racing palaces. Provided they can get a ballot measure passed in '06, two La ...   More
 
Wednesday, March 16, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

America's Hometown News Source


Winners & Losers
WINNERSAtheist public-school kids will no longer have to cry themselves to sleep after being excluded from the Boy Scouts. The Oregon Court of Appeals upheld a ruling that barred the Scouts from recru ...   More
 
Wednesday, March 9, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

The News: Pulverized!


Winners & Losers
WINNERSWin some, lose some. Local cartoon lovers raised their Elastigirl action figures in jubiliation after watching Corvallis native Brad Bird snag an Oscar for The Incredibles, which he wrote and d ...   More
 
Wednesday, March 2, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

The News Compactor™


Winners & Losers
WINNERSSchool kids owe three cheers to new Oregon Lottery director Dale Penn, who last week proposed cutting taverns' commissions nearly in half on video slot machines. Unlike previous directors, Penn ...   More
 
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

All Nude News Revue


Winners & Losers
WINNERSAfter the show, did they grab a pitcher to go? On Sunday night, Kentucky cradle-robber Loretta Lynn and pasty-faced Detroit rocker Jack White won a Grammy for Best Country Collaboration with Vo ...   More
 
Wednesday, February 16, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

More efficient than the Eagles' two-minute drill.


Winners & Losers
WINNERSLocal secret agents, mob informants and Indiana Jones wannabes breathed a sigh of relief at the news that the Legislature is considering a ban on carnivorous piranhas. If Senate Bill 125 passes ...   More
 
Wednesday, February 9, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

The News, compacted.


Winners & Losers
WINNERSTremendous news for gambling addicts: They have yet another way to reduce themselves to sniveling penury as of this week. Slot machines, which is what we have in Oregon instead of a sound state ...   More
 
Wednesday, February 2, 2005 WW Editorial Staff

Your infallible guide to the News.


Winners & Losers
WINNERSOne faction says "Nay-to," the other says "Nie-to," but now no normal people have to pretend to care. The two halves of the battling Naito clan finally settled a long-running feud, agreeing to ...   More
 
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 WW Editorial Staff
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