NIGHT CABBIE "So you're saying you have no money?"Why am I not surprised? The guy got into the cab from an address in Felony Flats and talked full-tilt nonstop nonsensically until we got to the Gold Coin Lounge on ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Take me to Dove Lewis." My passenger has a cat in a carrier; her voice is shaking. I start gunning it—why is everyone driving so SLOW!? "What's wrong with him?" "He just...collapsed," she says. ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE Sometimes, sometimes, things work out. A while back, I took home one of our regular alcoholics from his regular bar, but he did not have his regular $4 on him. He apologized profusely and promised he' ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE I'm leaving the Walgreen's on Belmont, on my way to an order at Powell's on Hawthorne, when a guy walks up and asks me to take him to the Safeway at Lloyd Center. So I give back the Powell's order and ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE Dammit, don't park in the taxi zones!I don't care if it's "just for a minute." Those zones are for your convenience, not ours. They're there so that you can unload your bags in front of the hotel unde ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Take me to the Aladdin," she says. She's very drunk."The Aladdin closed hours ago—it's 3 am.""Oh, I know. It's just my car is there."I get this all the time: people who cab back to their car, s ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Oh hey, it's you!" The girl who has just gotten in is extremely attractive despite being quite overweight, with midnight-black bangs and perfect, perfect porcelain skin. "I remember you," I say. "You ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "OK, so either Soundgarden or Alice in Chains," says my passenger when he gets in. "Nope," I respond, "but you're in the ballpark—it's the former singer from the Screaming Trees." He gets excite ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE I'm not the only one having a bad night.I'm waiting in front of the Hawthorne Subway for the last employee to lock up and come out. She's a pretty goth girl, who is looking increasingly flustered, cul ...   More

NIGHT CABBIE "Don't forget your fucking phone!" I had picked these two up at the Scoreboard, which is usually a four-dollar fare. I was pleasantly surprised to get a 20-dollar fare, to Southwest Multnomah. That is ...   More