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Headout: Wine & Wag

The life of a veteran Oregon wine dog.

Before people buy your wine, they want to pet your dog. Alex Sokol Blosser has accepted this. “I don’t know why—it’s gotta be that when you go to a farm, you expect to see a dog,” he s   More
Wednesday, May 23, 2012 MARTIN CIZMAR

Headout: Willy Wagon

Your neighbor’s car, in Pinewood Derby form.

Sometimes you’re toast before the green flag falls. We couldn’t compete with the swell of creative force fueling the Stumptown 40 adult Pinewood Derby. Past races have seen models made to lo   More
Wednesday, May 16, 2012 MARTIN CIZMAR

Headout: Friends Forever

Two decades later, what do you remember about The Golden Girls?

I had to squint, but the Elvis impersonator in the back row at Sophia’s wedding looked awfully familiar. That forehead. That weird mouth. Yes, Quentin Tarantino was on The Golden Girls. Oh, th   More
Wednesday, May 9, 2012 CASEY JARMAN

Doin’ The Derb

You’re not rich, but on Kentucky Derby day, you can act like it.

Horse races, like sex, are about mostly anticipation. And while the Kentucky Derby—like sex—only lasts two minutes, the elaborate celebrations around racing’s biggest event last all day. O   More
Wednesday, May 2, 2012 CASEY JARMAN

Headout: Tossers

Darts combines drinking and sharp objects. What’s not to love?

“It’s way more challenging than it looks,” says Isaac Rochester. “Lots of people think, ‘I could get drunk and throw some shit at a wall.’ But it really is a game of millimeters.”    More
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 PENELOPE BASS

Headout: Two Rounds

Earth Day vs. Record Store Day.

It’s a big weekend for the smug and self-congratulatory. Saturday is Record Store Day, a celebration of crass consumerism and the fetishization of impractical and outdated technology. Sunday i   More
Wednesday, April 18, 2012 MARTIN CIZMAR

Chimp Chat

Want to befriend an ape? Learn to speak his language.

Apes seem like hairier versions of ourselves—playful, inquisitive and quick to throw feces when angered. For decades, we’ve been dressing them as bellhops, teaching them to ride tricycles an   More
Wednesday, April 11, 2012 PENELOPE BASS


Let’s remember the true meaning of Easter.

There is a war on Easter. Sure, I could try to sugarcoat it—to disguise the truth in shiny tinfoil—but the truth is that Obama and his fellow socialists want everyone to think this is a holida   More
Wednesday, April 4, 2012 AARON MESH

Headout: Potty Party

Is Vancouver ready for Gender-Neutral Bathroom Week?

If Ally McBeal taught us anything, it’s that unisex public restrooms would not lead to total social degradation, but rather to zany plot twists and dance numbers. Yet for all of our societal p   More
Wednesday, March 28, 2012 PENELOPE BASS

Headout: Puddin’ Slam

Ladies rassle in white goop: “It’s empowering.”

Forget mud, vegetable oil and Jell-O. In Pittsburgh, the ladies wrestle in pudding. Ashley Ryon, the woman who invented the sport, is hoping her particular brand of custard-based chaos will take off   More
Wednesday, March 21, 2012 RUTH BROWN

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