February 16th, 2007 5:33 pm | by Isaac Kaplan-woolner News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP

Lockjamming: Starbucks Fans Nearly Denied Morning Coffee

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What would happen to the world if we suddenly woke up and not a single Starbucks was open? That was a horrifying possibility for residents of South- and Northwest Portland Friday morning.

It appears that at least 5 Starbucks coffeeshops (including the two nearest to the WW office) had their locks vandalized on Thursday night.

Starbucks spokesman Jason Macnaughton said a number of Starbucks front doors had their locks glued shut, but that all were open by 7 am.

Portland police haven't said if the incidents are related, or what a possible motive might be. Ten different callers reported lock vandalism Friday morning, from 4:16 until 8:11 am. But not all the locks belonged to Starbucks, and not all were vandalized with glue.

Portland police say no one has come forward to claim credit for the lock jamming.

Those who are concerned about an abrupt drop in the morning coffee supply are encouraged to generate a list of nearby locally owned coffee shops. These establishments are less likely to have invested in expensive security systems and should be much easier to break into in case of a caffeine crisis. (We're just joking, of course. Grande larceny—especially grande low-foam nonfat latte larceny—is a serious crime.)
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