Almost Live: Wizards at Blazers

By AARON MESH
gilbert-arenas-gun
SXSW
They're in Austin, Texas
sold their entire gun-crazy roster on wholesale
I am not good luck
Rescue
"Battle without Honor or Humanity"
First Quarter
new job
Columbian
Columbian
We learn from the Washington Post
Second Quarter
individually
blasé. This is the first time I've ever been able to hear the recorded male voice under the chants of "DE-fense!" It's kind of a freaky voice. Like the one in Scream.
Jerryd Bayless hits a three-second-technical foul shot, and people are clapping like it's a fucking golf tournament. This is horrible.
Space Ghost, sensing this game slipping into a place where there are no SportsCenter highlights, just the score listed alongside whoever was playing the Timberwolves, drives in for a three-point play. Crowd explodes in gratitude. 42-30, Blazers, and we hit the half. Gah.
I am reduced to sub-verbal expressions.
Halftime
The entertainment is women shooting free throws. Really. If one of them hits her shot, she gets a free pair of shoes. I'm afraid to say anything more about this, other than I don't think it will ever end.
Third Quarter
noted
wizard whale
Fourth Quarter
Final score: 76-74, Blazers.
Rescue
14

WWeek 2015

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