Dear MC Chris,
You seemed totally startled at the fanatical devotion the crowd at Berbati's Pan poured at you on Friday. Why was that? You are, after all, you
—and this is, after all, Portland.
Seriously, have you been
here before? Have you gone for a drink and some Tetris at our barcade? The one next door to our schmancy Japanese toy store, kitty-corner to our "record store of comic shops." and around the corner from the hip coffeehouse with a backroom entirely composed of people playing World of Warcraft and Left4Dead? This is Portland, otherwise known as Geektopia USA. There was a year where the billboard you could see out the window from Backspace ran nothing but ads for your TV alma mater Adult Swim. We'd love you for your roles in Aqua Teen Hunger Force
and Sealab 2020
even if you didn't write surprisingly clever hip-hop about the nuggets of pop culture we're devoted to.
Oh yeah, and when you did your last West Coast tour? You totally skipped us. Some of us had to drive to Eugene for our Chris fix. We may forgive, Chris, but we are geeks—our memories for meaningless minutiae are the stuff of legend.
But forgive you we did...as you clearly noticed three songs into your set when we started chanting your name as though it was already time for an encore. And then people in the crowd kept vying for your attention and you had to keep making fun of them for it. (My personal favorite was when that dude requested "Fett's Vette," and you exclaimed, "Yes, I'm going to play my hit! Settle down, retard!" That was quality.)
I hope we didn't go too far with it all. For a while there you seemed like you were just enjoying it—like when you said there's usually only about five good gigs in any of your four month tours, and that this was looking like one of them—but after a certain point you seemed to be getting kind of weirded out. But it was pretty flattering when you came out for your encore and had them turn up the house lights so you could film us with your iPhone.
So next time, please don't just drive right past and play Eugene instead. We have weed here too, you know. Didn't you see the clouds of it rising off certain portions of the crowd?
Photo by Brandon Seifert