August 23rd, 2008 5:33 pm | by NILINA MASON-CAMPBELL Music | Posted In: Columns, News

White Rainbow and Jonas Brothers: Burnin' Up the Billboard Charts

white rainbrothersBillboard's Hot 100 Chart and Portland experimental music wiz White Rainbow go together I'm at a loss. Until White Rainbow's Adam Forkner embarked on a project that joins the two together in remix bliss, I never really would have thought of it. His UrbanHonking "Life Log" has found Forkner posting remixed tracks from the Billboard Hot 100 chart as of late. Beginning with Chris Brown's "Forever," he's already tackled Rhianna's "Take a Bow," Coldplay's "Viva la Vida" (appropriately retitled as "I'm Just a Relaxed, Young, Rich Person") and most recently, Jonas Brothers' "Burnin' Up." None of which sound anything remotely like the original tracks.

"Thunder Burn for Slow Breath (Dimly)," White Rainbow's remix of Jonas Brothers' "Burnin' Up":

Out of the gates with 515,051 sold over last week, Jonas Brothers' latest disc, A Little Bit Longer, received four stars from Rolling Stone—which either proves how irrelevant the magazine is or is a testament to its hipness; maybe the mag just really gets irony and makes it legit. But White Rainbow isn't having any of it, as his commentary alongside the remix describes:

i woke up early to the sound of thunder crashing all around me and the wonderful emptiness and expansiveness of cool air after a brutally hot weekend. as the rain started to come down, i opened up youtube to check out this Jonas Brothers music. it was really shitty. i took source through the laptop built in mic close to the open window with me turning the sound on the youtube video on and off. the sound of rain through a compressor. things creaked and billowed from there. i'm putting up the whole thing instead of the snippets i've been doing for the other ones. this is basically how i work when i make music on the computer, just fuck around for a bit, see what happens, record the whole thing, cut it down or leave it as the sketch that it is.
as for the jonas brothers, i absolutely can not relate to it. and the rap at the end is terrible. wow.

First off, the rap is the best part! I think it even says "stop drop and roll," which reminds me of fire safety in kindergarten. The guest rapping comes courtesy of the Brothers' security guard, who used to be the security guard for Britney Spears. Did you know the trio also employ the services of Spears' ex-manager Johnny Wright as well as her former long-time personal assistant Fe? And no, I don't think I know too much about this chaste and impeccably dressed group of young men. Anyway, I was kind of hoping Forkner might recite the rap himself for the remix, or even bring in the lads of Rob Walmart, but you can't always get what you want, as the Rolling Stones say.

But onto the actual remix: It takes until 10:15 for semi-audible vocals from the track to kick-in in the over 16 minute long remix. And what is Forkner talking about in his post when it comes to not being able to relate to the Disney stars? There's a Jonas Brothers song called "One Man Show." That title screams White Rainbow!

Teasing aside, what should he tackle next? He poses the question himself in multiple posts. Oddly enough, M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" is in the Top 10 of the chart due to its recent Pineapple Express exposure. Then there's, of course, Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl;" Jesse McCartney who's a new personal favorite of mine; Metro Station, a band which features Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana's older brother and there's Kenny Chesney too. That list does not include Lil' Wayne's ten million charting songs. "A Milli" getting the White Rainbow treatment? That could be awesome overload.

So what do you make of the project, and how listenable do you find the remixes? Should they be pressed into vinyl and spun at the clubs? OK, that one's a bit of a stretch. But can you imagine Jonas Brothers deciding to use his remix as a B-side? That and my other idea for the lads—covering Weezer's "My name is Jonas"—could easily help the band transition from tween to adult audience, right? It'd either boost their sales or cause a massive abandonment: "You used to be about the hair product, tight pants and disposable love ditties!"

White Rainbow Life Log - blogging home and where remixes appear as they're made
Billboard Hot 100 Chart
White RainbowSpace

Cartoon by Casey. Made using "Scribbles" for the Mac.
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