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Ed note: Love may mean never having to say you're sorry, but
you're damn sure to be apologizing if you don't at least acknowledge
this holiday of commercialized romance. --- Luckily, Portland's
restaurants, clubs and performers have a multitude of ways to help you
spread the sexy around.
Remember, love is fleeting and so are dinner
reservations. Make sure to call to nab a table. Email Kelly Clarke if there's an event you want WW to know about. And why yes, that is one of Alma Chocolate's gorgeous chocolate hearts pictured above. If I were you, I'd buy one right now. –Kelly Clarke
FOOD & DRINK
V-Day at Departure
They say raw fish is a great aphrodisiac, so get thee to Departure. The four-course Japanese culinary tradition of kaiseki begins with sushi or sashimi, continues with salmon or Piedmontese tenderloin and ends with your choice of white chocolate mousse with candied roses and Thai basil or a Vietnamese coffee and dark chocolate tart with candied kumquats. Departure, 525 SW Morrison St., 802-5370. 4 pm-2 am Friday and Saturday, Feb. 11-12, 4 pm-midnight Monday, Feb. 14. $60.
V-Day at Andina
Andina's Doris Platt de Rodriguez says her Peruvian restaurant's Table 25 has a long history of marriage proposals and other romantic encounters. "Every table at Andina will have the same good omen as Table 25 [tonight]," she promises. To sweeten this deal, suspiro de limeña, a meringue-topped custard, will be served for dessert along with a half bottle of Champagne for each guest. Andina, 1214 NW Glisan St., 228-9535. 5-10:30 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $75 or more based on choice of wine.
Chocolat, Chocolate and Dinner at the Heathman
The Heathman hosts two screenings of the regularly mispronounced Chocolat—that classic Frenchie chick flick starring a dude who looks better than your boyfriend—plus a five-course tasting menu that's heavy on meat and cocoa, which is great if your after-dinner plans involve bloating and bedtime. The Heathman, 1001 SW Broadway Ave., 214-4100. 6:30 pm Saturday and Monday Feb. 12 & 14. $75, not including beverages or gratuity.
V-Day Dinner at Lincoln
Owner/chef and 2010 James Beard nominee Jenn Louis provides an earthy, three-course menu for the couple who equates good food with sex. Apps include baked eggs with cream and brandade fritters with saffron aioli, and entrees are a balance of veg and non-veg (hanger steak, braised duck leg, strozzapreti pasta and risotto with Dungeness crab). Lincoln, 3808 N Williams, 288-6200. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $50 per person excluding drinks and gratuity.
Honeymoon-Inspired Dinner at Metrovino
The newly married foodies of Metrovino—executive chef Greg Denton and his chef de cuisine, Gabrielle Quiñónez Denton—share their years of experience cooking as a duo in Maui and Napa Valley in the form of special dishes like baked oysters with absinthe and bacon bread crumbs and grilled Chateaubriand for two. Aside from Metrovino's more than 100 still and sparkling wines, diners can choose between two featured cocktails, the Seelbach (bourbon, bitters) and the French 75 (gin, lemon, sugar). Metrovino, 1139 NW 11th Ave., 517-7778. Dinner hours Saturday-Monday, Feb. 12-14. Regular menu prices.
V-Day Dinner at Salty's
Salty's is promising 4-foot fountains spouting chocolate at each table, with strawberries waiting to take a dip. Be sure to get there early to sample select wines in the lobby before dinner. If oenology ain't your thing, maybe the "Pheromone-Tini" (Chambord raspberry vodka, Absolut Mandarin, triple sec) is. Salty's, 3839 NE Marine Drive, 288-4444. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. Around $50-$70 for three course dinners.
V-Day Dinner at Beast
Beast knows your lady doesn't want to feel like a beast after the check is dropped. That's why the cozy Northeast eatery is featuring a light four-course meal where you can drink your weight in five cycles of wine—"better for the post-meal lovin'..." they helpfully mention. Beast, 425 NE 30th Ave., 841-6968. 6 or 8:45 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $100. Reserve seats at beastpdx.com.
Sitar Music and Dinner at East India Co.
A sitar is a phallic string instrument used in India and by George Harrison. Listen to the rhythmic string pluckings of Josh Feinberg while chowing on hazelnut-stuffed chicken and rosemary naan from an inexpensive menu built for two. East India Co., 821 SW 11th Ave., 227-8815. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $65 per couple.
V-Day at Pix Pâtisserie
For the first part of February, it's going to look like a Dashboard Confessional album blew up all over the walls of Pix Pâtisserie. Aside from shoving a pair of diamond stud earrings in a lucky box of chocolates at both locations on Monday, Feb. 14, Pix urges Portlanders to tack anonymous love letters on the walls of their shops. Count the "I never told yous" and "I've loved you forevers" during tea time on V-Day eve, which comes complete with heart-shaped French macarons, oysters on the half shell and a bottle of Champagne. Pix Patisserie—North, 901 N Williams Ave., 282-6539. 11 am-4 pm Sunday, Feb. 13. $60-$100 per couple.
V-Day Dinner at Yakuza
Forget the fact Yakuza is beating the holiday horse with five courses inspired by the color red. It's hard to hate on blood-orange scallop ceviche and braised pork cheeks with chèvre, ancho chile oil and cauliflower puree—or the sleek Japanese bar's wine and sake pairings. Yakuza, 5411 NE 30th Ave., 450-0893. 5:30 and 8 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $50, $75 with sake/wine pairings.
Local Wine and Chocolate Tasting at Red Ridge
Motoring down to the Willamette Valley wine region is a beautiful way to break from the city for a while. That is, on any other weekend. Still, if nibbling chocolate and slugging back local wine with a cottage full of strange couples is kind of your thing (and we're not judging if it is), you're welcome. Red Ridge Farms, 5510 NE Breyman Orchard Road, Dayton, 864-8502. Rooms at Red Ridge's Stoneycrest Guest Cottage $200-$350 per night. Wine tasting available 11 am-4 pm Saturday-Sunday, Feb. 12-13 for a $10 fee.
V-Day Dinner at Clyde Common
Double and quadruple dates are encouraged at Clyde Common—the more the merrier when you're grubbing on specials containing oysters and foie gras. They're taking reservations for two, four, six and more Sunday and Monday. Clyde Common, 1014 SW Stark St., 228-3333. Dinner hours Sunday-Monday, Feb 13-14. Regular menu prices.
V-Day Dinner at the Country Cat
True love smells like cast-iron-skillet-fried chicken, molasses and hickory smoked duck legs, whole hog plates and Texas toast. The Country Cat, 7937 SE Stark St., 408-1414. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. Regular menu prices.
V-Day Dinner at Nostrana
This Italian lover celebrates V-Day with a three-course prix fixe menu featuring Dungeness crab bruschetta, oxtail stew and winter squash gnocchi. Nostrana, 1401 SE Morrison St., 234-2427. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $50.
V-Day Dinner at Belly
Belly pours some special cocktails (the Jim Beam Manhattan is dubbed "Barry White's Mix") to lubricate three courses involving sweetbreads, pork cheeks, and a dark chocolate tart with peanut butter mousse. Belly, 3500 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 249-9764. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $49.
V-Day Dinner at London Grill
London Grill reads our minds with 28 days of Valentine's dinners at the classy price of $69. The Benson Hotel's subterranean dining room promises butter-poached lobster tails, locally sourced prime rib and chocolate baked Alaska. The London Grill at The Benson Hotel, 309 SW Broadway, 227-8794. Dinner hours through Monday, Feb. 28. $69.
V-Day Dinners at Fenouil
Chef Jake Martin of Fenouil creates two separate five-course menus so meat lovers and meat haters can eat together in harmony. Think heirloom beets vs. roasted duck breast; tortellini with shaved Oregon truffle battling a natural shoulder tenderloin. Luckily, everybody will probably love the Guanaja chocolate torte. Fenouil, 900 NW 11th Ave., 525-2225. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. $65 per person, $40 extra for wine.
"Everlasting Love" Package at the Avalon
Portland's riverside Avalon Hotel and Spa and its Aquariva restaurant prepare an "Everlasting Love" package, complete with a three-course dinner (on the night of your choice), one-night stay and free parking. And by "Everlasting" we mean until 2 pm checkout. Avalon Hotel and Spa, 0455 SW Hamilton Court, 802-5800. All day Sunday-Monday, Feb. 13-14. $244.
Din Din Valentine's Dinners
The art/design collaborative the Art Department pairs up with the Din Din catering crew to bring a long weekend of sexy, wine-soaked courses (with more wine to pair). Think foie gras with candied kumquat, mussels and treviso, and Armagnac truffles. The Art Department, 1315 SE 9th Ave. 7:30 pm Saturday-Monday, Feb. 12-14. $75. Info and reservations at 971-544-1350 or courtney@dindinportland.com.
V-Day Dinner at Equinox
Equinox is giving all its V-Day dishes slutty names—proscuitto with pomegranate seeds and chèvre is "It's Too Soon," and pan-seared pork loin is "No Hickies." (We'll let you figure out "Calamore." Oh, and dessert is renamed "Home Run," while apps and entrees are first and second base. Can the fare make up for this schmaltzy marketing scheme? Choose between the three- or four-course meals to decide. Equinox, 830 N Shaver St., 460-3333. Dinner hours Monday, Feb. 14. Three course $89 per couple, four course $96 per couple—two drinks included.
Blood and Sand at Suzette Creperie
Watch Blood and Sand (that'd be Rudolph Valentino's silent film about a love triangle involving a bullfighter, not the softcore gladiator-porn TV show), while dining on bacon-stuffed gougeres and bay scallop crêpes for a price so cheap you could bring two dates. Suzette Creperie, 2921 NE Alberta St., 473-8657. 6 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $20.
MUSIC/THEATER
Mortified Portland
In elementary school, I gave Disney-themed valentines to everyone in my second-grade class except the dude I was crushing on (it was too personal). Then, I sat back and watched as he hand-delivered a glitter glue heart made from red construction paper to that blond bitch who sat next to me. It was agonizing. Maybe the crew behind Mortified Portland (who rehash awkward adolescent writings onstage) have some stories that can match the pain, even if only for a few hours. Mission Theatre, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. Doors 6 pm, show 8 pm Thursday-Friday, Feb. 10-11. $12. Order online at getmortified.com.
Tasha Miller at Jimmy Mak's
Tasha Miller is some combination of artist and sorceress (she plans to "woo you with wholesome love, golden tones, a silver lining"). Whatever she is, if you're interested in seeing her perform live jazz, she'll be the thing in front of the band and dressed in plenty of fancy red velvet. Jimmy Mak's, 221 NW 19th Ave., 295-6542. 8-11 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $10.
Angie Foster at the White Eagle
Angie Foster will sing songs from current and past releases and speak openly about her (and her husband's) many unsuccessful attempts at pregnancy. She is currently seven months pregnant with twins. The show is called "I Love You, I Hate You," and is inspired by the holiday. This is really happening. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 282-6810. 9:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 12. $6 at the door.
I Heart Improv V-Day Improv Special
The Brody Theater cast works from audience suggestions for this romantic improv show. Be sure to spout out some of the more inappropriate subjects of love and dating—like the morning-after pill or the morning-after walk—to charm your date and ensure your $15 ticket will be well worth the show. The Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7 pm Sunday, 7:30 pm Monday, Feb. 13-14. $15.
Fleur de Lethal Presents True Romance at the Bagdad
Skip the strippers and cocaine this V-Day and just watch Quentin Tarantino characters indulge in those bloody vices. Splurge on the movie's "You're So Cool V.I.P Package"—it includes two tix, a bottle of Champagne and JaCiva chocolates. Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 467-7521. Doors 8 pm, film 9 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $5-$25.
OTHER PERVERSIONS
Valentine's Make-Overs at Mabel & Zora
If you think the reason you don't have a Valentine this year has something to do with your face, let the experts (Inspire Style, Fada Salon, Event Cosmetics) try and fix that for you. Champagne and cupcakes will be served during the beauty bash, and Mabel and Zora will offer 15 percent off any purchases during the event. Mabel & Zora, 748 NW 11th Ave., 241-5696. 3-8 pm Thursday, Feb. 10. Free.
Bicycle Built for Two
If my boyfriend made me ride a tandem bicycle on Valentine's Day, I would punch him in the face. I don't have a boyfriend, but if you and your honey bunny are into this type of thing), you're perfect for each other and 2) Pedal Bike Tours is offering two-hour pedal-where-you-please gift certificates and a pair of Two Tart Valentines cookies for $22 total. The cookies should be eaten relatively soon, but the ride is good anytime. Pedal Bike Tours, 133 SW 2nd Ave., 877-2453. Gift certificates through Monday, Feb. 14. $22.
V-Day Specials at Spa Willamina
Give your girl a facial for V-Day. Spa Willamina is offering discounted prices for couples, singles and BFFs. Choose a 60-minute customized facial or Swedish massage and get your gloves on a complimentary signature bath soak. Girls, bring four of your friends to the private foot-soak room for the "friendship package," which includes a complimentary glass of wine. Spa Willamina, 1928 NE 40th Ave., 287-2787. Saturday-Monday, Feb. 12-14. $40-$99. Call for reservations.
Singles CPR
Kiss a dummy and learn to save yourself from the worst fate known to single woman—choking on a chicken bone at home with only your cat watching. The Green Room at the Hotel deLuxe, 729 SW 15th Ave., 284-1234. 6-8 pm Monday, Feb. 14. $20.
WWeek 2015