March 22nd, 2011 | by AARON MESH Movies & Television |

Baldwin Watch: Daniel Releases a Rap Video About Zombie Strippers

Naturally, it is fucking terrible.

Baldwin RapsDaniel Baldwin rapping - Screen capture from YouTube

It has been 16 months since the beginning of the Great Daniel Baldwin Experiment, in which the fearlessly tweeting Celebrity Fit Club veteran promised to bring Portland a television studio, complete with reality shows and movies. In that time, no reality shows or movies have been announced. But today, we have the first tangible product of Baldwin's stay here: a hip-hop single, "Club Life," tied to another local studio's zombie movie Stripperland. I have not seen Stripperland, or Baldwin's cameo in it, and cannot comment on whether it is the kind of project that would cause "trucks stopping on there [sic] way to Canada, only to dump all of that business into Portland." But I have seen the music video for "Club Life." Five observations:

1: Though the song is called "Club Life," most of the video seems to have been shot in a Sauvie Island field.

2: Also, it appears to have been filmed alternately in front of or on Double Decker PDX, "Portland's party bus," which usually ferries assholes between bars, but has on this occasion made an exception.

3: Baldwin performs under the rap moniker "Double D," a name that works on two levels—the name of the bus; tits—and would work on three levels if his name were Daniel Daldwin.

4: Not many rappers wear gray knit ski caps, I'll give him that. And not many rappers debut with a video featuring a strip club patron getting his penis bitten off during felatio.

5: Most memorable lyric: "Check the raven / You know, the one from Poe / He was weak and weary of every ho."

I don't actually suggest that you watch it yourself, but you theoretically could:

 
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