On this Fourth of July, the Portland Fire Bureau would like to remind you to stick with sparklers. Bottle rockets, roman candles and firecrackers "are ILLEGAL in Oregon," the bureau says.

Not scared by the prospect of a $500 fine?

Consider: Your M-80 could trigger someone's PTSD.

Illegal fireworks are dangerous, "traumatizing and harmful to children, animals, and a growing number of war veterans who deserve our loyalty the most," the bureau says.

If you're at the Oregon Coast this weekend, remember, staging a full-dress military parade is much safer than having a bonfire, especially you plan on consuming alcohol.

Vigorous exercise means long-term safety for your internal organs.

Keeping it Weird.

Just another night at Holocene…