Upper Extremities #8: A Casual Encounter With Something Fierce

It was only three weeks ago that I slobbered all over Something Fierce and its masterful Don't Be So Cruel in my special corner of the internet, and I heaped still more praise upon Houston's pop-punk geniuses in this week's show listings, but I cannot and will not stop shoving this band into the ears of everyone who has ears. 

So here, this is for your ears: "Empty Screens." You're welcome!

I tracked down the touring Something Fierce and lobbed thirteen semi-obnoxious questions in its general direction, hoping at least one member of the trio would feel like answering them. Singer-guitarist Steven Garcia was game, and he responded via email because I queried via email because a) we live in the future and b) phones are stupid because phones are a) crackly and b) staticky and c) just stupid, okay?

Something Fierce plays Plan B with Cute Lepers on Friday, Sept. 23. 8pm. $7. 21+.

WW: What are you listening to in the tour van/bus/car/truck?
Garcia: It's a mid-size SUV.  GMC, like a pro.  Today was "Singles Friday," and it included The Trashmen, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, Skee Lo, The Vapors, Boston Chinks, N.W.A., and T.S.O.L.  When we're car jammin', anything goes.

What did you bring to read on the road?
Niki is the road-dog reader in the bunch.  She was recently drawn into a book that was described as "Twilight with shirts."  She is also an avid fan of children's programming.  Steve E. Nix attempted to peddle his "borrowed" copy of Sammy Hagar's Red: My Uncensored Life In Rock to the SF camp, but we were much too clever for that trick.

Are you gaining or losing weight while on tour?
We were successfully losing weight until we returned to Texas. All reports have since indicated full weight gain due to various encounters with chips and salsa.

Did you pack pajamas?
Sure, we packed 'em with a warm glass of milk....grow up, Willamette Week

Do you ever listen to your band's album and wonder why you are not way more popular?
No. I hear you can go blind from doing that.

What is more exciting: writing songs, recording songs, playing the songs live, or seeing a stranger wearing a Something Fierce t-shirt?
Writing is depressing and solitary, recording is frustrating, playing live is exhausting, and seeing a fat dude with our faces on his belly is only a reminder of how we will never be a real rock band with hot chicks at the front of the stage.  So, the answer is clearly the stranger.

You are on the road. Hungry as hell. You exit the highway and see a Taco Bell and a Subway next door to each other. Where do you eat?
Subway.  Niki is vegetarian, and we all enjoy a mild case of food poisoning.

What are your day jobs?
Barista, barista, coffee roaster.  You ever hear the Louis C.K. joke about the 48-hour diarrhea cycle?  We're not laughing. 

Do you take the stage wearing whatever you traveled in that day? Or do you have "show outfits"?
It depends on how important we need to look and what kind of crowd to expect. For example, in Brooklyn, Steven made sure to sport his calculatedly disheveled hair with a sprinkling of stained jeans and vomit. People noticed.

What is the best thing on the internet right now?
That's a toss up between animalsbeingdicks.com and The 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings.

Is Ken Dirtnap secretly a terrible person?
Ken Dirtnap is a shark in shark's clothing.  He may single-handedly bring about the end of days.  However, "Kenny C," as we like to call him, is really, seriously a terrible person.  He's the worst.  We love him.

What is the best punk album of all time?
The Modern Lovers.

What is the meanest thing you've ever seen written or heard said about Something Fierce?
A German reviewer once described us as the least attractive band in the history of music.  He really liked the new album.