Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)
1. Gina Carano's thighs
In Haywire, the MMA star puts famous actors in a headlock between her legs, kills them. We are impressed. We have an editor who is notoriously fit, but we will still not challenge these thighs.
2. Roger Rabbit
He is described by police as "small, gray and fury [sic]." He is at large. He is a symbol of everything absurd in this city. Next week, he will be the subject of a 7,000-word profile in The New Yorker. He will give no quotes. Because he is a rabbit.
There's no better cure for January's onslaught of disease than pork, hominy and chili soup. If you're too sick to make it at home, you can get a good bowl at La Bonita or a great one every Thursday at Autentica.
4. New episodes of Sherlock
Making the list for a second week in a row and moving up one place from #5, because the third and final episode of the second "season" made us realize how terrible everything else on television is compared to this show, and because co-creator Steven Moffat waited riiiight until the cliffhanger ending to tweet that a third season was in the works after bluffing about it for months. We should mention that these episodes haven't been played on U.S. TV yet. We watched them by... magic.
5. The fact that Glenn Close wrote an original song for Albert Nobbs
"Nobbs Nobbs Nobbs, Nobbs Nobbs Nobbs Nobbbbbbbssss!"
6. Chase Blackburn
After the Giants stomp the Niners and go back to the Super Bowl you'll be reading a bunch of profiles of the NYG linebacker who was teaching math to middleschoolers most of the NFL season. A great story, indeed. Also worth noting: Mr. Blackburn played his college ball at the state of Ohio's preeminent institution of higher education, The University of Akron.
7. "Pico and SepulvedaI"
Dr. Demento, who is coming to Reed this weekend, had to issue a decree limiting the spins of this track by Freddy Martin and his orchestra to once a month. Makes sense as it's pretty fucking catchy. Also catchy, Demento-ed and new to us: The kazoo-heavy 1980 demo of Weird Al's "It's Still Billy Joel To Me."
9. Peep Show