If your Valentine isn't as turned-on by sweaty men running the basketball court as you are, you might have to run a few set plays in order to get her in the mood. Explain that you love basketball "because it's about rhythm, and the language of the human body." What could be more enticing? Try using only the sexiest language of the game as you tease her into sharing the loveseat with you for two-plus hours of hot dribbling action. Words like "swish," "alley-oop," "[full-court] press," "dunk," "Camby" and "Nicolas" (careful now, don't pronounce the "s"), for example, have sexy undertones that will woo your lover. Avoid the sport's less-than-exotic words while making your case: "Violation," "Blatche," "jump-ball" and "Bullets" are all red flags that could be potential deal-breakers (next thing you know it, you're having pasta by candlelight with no televisions in eye shot...worst Valentine's EVER). And unless freaky boundaries have already been established, be sure to avoid any mention of the "double-team,' "triple-team" or Wizards assistant coach Sam Cassell.