Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)

1. Cheap Eats 2012

It doesn't come out until Wednesday, but trust us, it's amazing. Here's a sneak peak:

2. Cycles South
An accidentally hilarious "documentary" about three friends riding motorcycles to the Panama canal on 300 dollars a piece. Simultaneously cringe-inducing and legitimately inspiring, the 1971 flick is primarily notable for an extended scene wherein the riders stay at a hippie commune long enough to grow beards and get girlfriends, only to peel off into the sunset to awful folk music at the end of their stay. Also, they drive through 30 miles of jungle and harpoon a sea turtle. Crazy times. (Available now on Netflix Instant.)

3. Feastworks Catering and Charcuterie's extraordinary chistorra sausages
You can't actually buy these skinny Basque chorizos right now without a custom order—Feastworks sells only at three Farmers Markets, and none of them have opened yet—but we could sure go for one right now.

4. Port St. Willow, Even // Wasted
This came out in 2010, and WW Music Editor Casey Jarman feels like a total idiot for just now getting in to it. Sexy, sweeping sounds from Rip City.
5. Solar Roadways

6. The predictable fanboy uproar over the inclusion of a sexless "gay sex scene" in
Mass Effect 3
7. Susan Orlean is just going around telling people about her chickens
It's like she never left.

8. The Triangle Offense
We miss the days when Phil Jackson's teams were totally undefeatable and think Chuck Klosterman is probably right about why it's gone which is, essentially, that people are dumb.
9. Little Pots and Pans' roasted tomato, caramelized onion and goat cheese tarts
They call it a "tart," we'd call it a "pastie," but regardless, it's crazy good. Fill your freezer with them and refuse to leave the house until winter is over.

10. Hail