Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong.
Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)
Sun sun sun sun sun. Sun sun. Sun!
3. Giant mugs of Kirin from Shigezo
Yes, we're pretty firmly in the pocket of this Japanese Cheesecake Factory—see the time
writers picked dishes here as their favorite meals of the year—but, seriously, the Kirin at this izakaya seems especially delicious. We're guessing its the fact that they pound the kegs and get fresh ones from the island more frequently than Japanese eateries with less clout back home. Get a giant $5 happy hour mug and thank us.
That's right up there with Lebaneser Scrooge, Kim Jong Grillin' and Give Pizza and Chance.
5. Toasting "To your Health"
Because being home sick isn't all 7-Up and Mad magazine anymore.
Because being home sick isn't all 7-Up and Cracked magazine anymore.
7. The best moment of Mad Men
Which was actually a commercial that sent the sell-out crowd at the Academy Theater into the most incredible scene of squirmy grossed-out giggles ever. Is this the greatest ironic old people hilarity from a commercial since that lady fell and could not get up? Perhaps.
8. Xingu Beer
It is not a good beer, really. But it is a beer made in the Amazon. And if you drink it at Shanghai Tunnel (which you can), suddenly a lot of the putative exoticism is thrown out of alignment in an interesting way.
9. Super Feud
Because, for some reason, a phenomenally stupid 1990 SNL sketch featuring Patrick Swayze and Dana Carvey feels really relevant right now. DO NOT QUESTION THE LIST!
10. Not trusting those electronic schedules at MAX stops
Because after 11 pm, they will always be goddamn wrong, and you will have to walk home after already having huddled in the cold for, like, 15 goddamn minutes.