The It List: The Top 10 Things in Portland and the World
it list - casey jarman
Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)
1. The 80-degree effect Whenever the dial hits 80 (that's 27, for the Australians in the room) Portlanders take off all their clothes. While this is pretty awesome if you live on, say, Southeast Clinton Street, where everyone is under 30 and has interesting tattoos and a BMI of 18, in our neighborhood we just get overweight couples in bikinis and board shorts walking down the street screaming at one another over whose fault it is that there's a, like, gimongous scratch on the car, and don't you dare talk about my mother that way you prick! There's never a dull day in Felony Flats.
3. Timothy Hutton releases his mayoral platform
It is a musical montage of him doing card tricks and kissing people.
4. Here We Go Magic, A Different Ship The Brooklyn band's sophomore full-length is produced by Radiohead's behind-the-scenes wiz Nigel Godrich, and it sounds amazing. The band hits Portland on Friday, May 25 and the album isn't out until May 8, but you can find a few tracks on YouTube and such. Seriously, holyshitholyshitholyshit. This band keeps getting better.
5. Oregon Ice Works' raspberry black pepper ice Sweet with a nice earthiness, the cart's pink scoops are as perfect as frozen things get.
6. HBO's Veep Director Armando Iannucci brings the brilliant, profane satire of his In the Loop to American cable, casting Julia Louis-Dreyfuss as the first-ever VPILF (aside from Spiro Agnew, of course).
7. Cool Ranch Doritos It's the taste of awkward adolescence.
8. Escape from New Jersey
Congrats to the Brooklyn Nets on their escape from the Garden State. The fact that NJ's bloated governor is yelling sour grapes makes it even a little sweeter for everyone involved.
8. Bubble tea Seriously, you guys! Why did we never make this a thing?