Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)

1. Salt & Straw dives into self-parody
Happily confirming Martin Cizmar's assertion that the boho ice cream shop is too precious by half, Salt & Straw has announced a new series of flavors created in collaboration with local chefs, including "toasted foie gras marshmallows and smoked vanilla ice cream ribboned with veal chocolate sauce and hazelnut graham cracker crumble." It's a double scoop of animal cruelty crunch! We suggest Salt and Straw next create flavors inspired by the late-Roman cookbook author Apicius: flamingo tongue and garum-fudge sundae, anybody?

2. Portlanders complaining about the weather on their Facebook pages

3. Illmaculate's "Lost Our Soul" video
Because WW Music Editor Casey Jarman will keep pushing this and pushing it until everyone in Portland has seen it.

4. The Icelandair propaganda machine
Iceland's only international airline—yes, Iceland has an airline—offers cheap flights between Seattle and Europe with relatively generous legroom and a decent selection of movies. The only catch: The entire experience of the flight is engineered to promote tourism in Iceland, from the airline website and the incessant pre-flight ads on the seatback monitors right down to the Icelandic sayings on the headrests and the Icelandic beer and Icelandic snacks. Travelers susceptible to sleep-deprived suggestion—of whom there must be very many, given the success of SkyMall—may find themselves reconsidering their choice of destination, mumbling incoherently about whales, glaciers and Sigur Ros, and suffering a sudden craving for skyr. Also, the flight attendants sound just like Kristin Wiig's Bjork impression.

5. Hari Kondabolu
America's best human rights expert/standup comedian is in town tonight at the Hollywood Theater. He gets us:

Comedy Central Stand-Up
Get More: Jokes,Joke of the Day,Funny Jokes

6. "Call Me Maybe"
7. "
The New York Times
8. Gary's Meadow Fresh 2% milk
10. This: