June 4th, 2012 | by WW Arts And Culture Staff Features | Posted In: It List

The It List: The Top 10 Things in Portland and the World

     
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itlistit list - casey jarman
Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)

1. "11/ALDER STOP IS CLOSED DUE TO MITT"

   
Image via @BrandonDoughan

Best. Streetcar. Announcement. Ever.

2. Taxidermy helicopter
This will be huge in Portland this summer:


3. Igi the Iguana in This Is Not a Film
He's green, he's scaly, he's an Iranian political prisoner. Free Igi! 

4. Kenny & Zuke's Bagelworks
Good bagels will soon return to the WW neighbourhood. Praise some sort of deity. 

5. Linguiça 
Because pepperoni doesn't get better when you burn the shit out of it.

6. Chris Bosh's face
Presented without comment.



7. Game of Thrones season 2 ends
Actually, this isn't a good thing, but it means True Blood returns and The Newsroom begins, so huzzah.

It's way better than Use Your Illusion I

9. Long Distance Running
It really is the only human sport that's not fundamentally absurd. 

10. The Icelandair propaganda machine
Making the list for a second week (down six places from #4), because of this comment, by WW reader "John":

10 things that I observed on my recent round trip flight to Europe via Icelandic Air:

10. If you're country just went through bankruptcy, you are desperate for Euros and/or dollars, you should schedule longer layovers in Keflavik - because, eventually, I will convince myself to eat the herring chips and buy one of those ridiculously overpriced wool sweaters. If all I have time for is a cigarette and a piss, then I don't have time to reach into my wallet.

9. Naming your elite mileage club "Saga" doesn't evoke memories of Thor, all it does is loop that awful 80s band Saga's song, "On The Loose", in my head until I have no choice but to wish we would just crash in Greenland and get it over already.
http://youtu.be/xQLWMvJ3sp4

8. You only breed mistrust of your culture when you serve "Kleiner" only on European flights. Don't you know Americans are more familiar with donuts than you are with Sigur Ros or Bjork? If you don't believe me, ask any cop in the States.

7. Nobody cares about "Airwaves" - the Iceland music festival. Ever hear of Coachella or Redding?

6. "Undercurrent"
Really?! This is the movie that you want curious Americans to watch to get a better sense of your culture? Halfway through the movie, I thought I had started to finally grasp "Black Metal", but then I realized that came from Norway and it scared me. Dark Norwegians have an outlet, I thought, but Icelandic people have volcanoes. "My God! When do we land?!"

5. For 1200 years, Iceland was isolated - then there were airplanes. It made me think the whole country was a "Gods Must Be Crazy" spinoff - only they worshipped Pan Am instead of Coca-Cola.

4. Whatever happened to the rest of The Sugarcubes?

3. I get it. You like airplanes.

2. Rolling a cart of jewelry through the aircraft, several times a flight, doesnt make me want to buy - it makes me think I've got to practice carrying my wallet in my front pocket because there are gypsies in Europe.

1. The Eskimos have, like, 26 words for snow, but the Icelandic people have over 200 words for "creepy".
 
And another thing!!! How come the pilot, when he speaks to the passengers, speaks non-stop for 6 minutes in Icelandic then, in English, says "Enjoy your flight". What else did he say to the natives and how does that build trust?
 
Just kidding, Iceland!!! I didn't really mean to offend you. The last thing I want is to fly United and HAVE to make another connection at ORD.
 
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