Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)

1. Jerry Sandusky going to jail
We're against the death penalty, but we're strangely amenable to the "get shanked in the shower" penalty. 

2. The Newsroom
Returning to the list after 12 weeks, because it finally premiered and screw the haters: we liked it. It's like real journalism, but more attractive and less drunk.

3. Four-ninths of the Supreme Court
We'll let you decide which four we mean.

Charming. Now bring back the sun!

5. Tuna blood sausage
The new Bamboo on Northwest 23rd opened today with a new seafood charcuterie plate that's pretty amazing. We'll be back for the tuna blood sausage very soon.

A great yarn.

7. Kumi Yamashita
The New York artist somehow finds the inhuman patience to wrap a single piece of black thread around nails to create unbelievable portraits

8. Sega Dreamcast
There will never be another. 

9. Kendrick Perkins Crying
Enduring the waves of nausea caused by the realization that we will never again be able to make "ringless LeBron James" jokes was almost worth it just to see Oklahoma City's mean-mugging, fake-thugging, never-smiling C.H.U.D. of a center well up with tears on his way to the locker room after the Heat beat the Thunder to win the NBA title last week. (More disheartening: Watching Kevin Durant cry into his mother's arms following the loss. Turn that sad into mad and get 'em next year, KD!) Speaking of ringless LeBron jokes, here's one for old time's sake, which only hardcore Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fans are likely to get:


10. Yammer
What the fuck is it? Who the fuck knows? It's worth a billion dollars—straight cash, homey!