Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)

1. The cover of our 2012 Best of Portland edition
You won't see it until Wednesday, but trust us: it's amazing.

2. Illegal cheese

So It List tries not to share too many Facebook memes, but this one is too good not to pass on. Does anyone know a good illegal cheese dealer in Portland? Leave it backwards in the comment section.

3. The NYT is On It Twitter 
For slaughtering the golden calf—or the grey lady in this case.

4. Casey Jarman's "It's Not a Portland Summer Until You've..."
Making the list for a fifth week (up 4 places from #9) because it's still summer!

5. Dam-Funk
After blowing the tearing the roof off the Star Theater at MusicfestNW last September, synth-funk true believer Damon Riddick returned to Portland on Saturday, this time destroying Mississippi Studios with his band, Master Blazter (which now features beastly ex-Mars Volta member Jon Theodore on drums, replacing the late Jovan Coleman, who passed suddenly last year). The show ended with Riddick ripping a hot keytar solo on his knees in the middle of the crowd. And it was funky.

6. The Master Full Trailer
Allegedly a fictionalized account of the beginnings of Scientology, if the new film from Paul Thomas Anderson doesn't end up being the best film of 2012, then this mesmerizing trailer is quite misleading.

7. Alphas returns
Although it doesn't make up for the loss of Eureka (sob), Alphas was the sleeper sci fi star of 2011, getting better and better with each episode. The finale set up for an amazing season two, which premieres tonight. Breath: baited.

8. This Reddit Portland thread about that MAX cartoon with the soul patch
Because it's nice when the city can unite over something.

9. Cappuccino bears
One fun thing about global warming is that polar bears and brown bears are now interbreeding. The results are likely to be cute.

10. They Might Be Giants (the movie, not the band)
George C. Scott plays a man convinced he is Sherlock Holmes who finds clues everything from tabloid. It's a  fantastic performance, and the movie is streaming on Netflix right now