The Vaughn-Stiller-Hill alien bro-vasion flick screened after WW press deadlines. Or maybe before. We're not quite sure, as our critic barely remembers seeing it.
Critics Grade: C+
Nobody plays Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Ben Stiller better than Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Ben Stiller, so luckily that's who shows up for The Watch, the suburban commando pic in which four goofy, f-bomb loving, vagina-craving, Bud-swilling dudes form a neighborhood watch and end up swearing and shooting at aliens. Vaughn's his usual lovable manchild who just wants to kick it with his bro-bros once a week without having to deal with his kids. Hill is a perverted, profane and slightly psychotic police academy reject. Stiller is his usual stick-in-the-mud who starts the watch when his friend, a drunken security guard, is murdered at CostCo, which becomes ground-zero for the extraterrestrial invasion. ("You really do have everything under one roof," one alien quips.)
It's a fun enough—if insanely disjointed—diversion, with a Seth Rogen script of shit-talk and male idiocy going rapid fire, like His Girl Friday imagined by Maxim editors. Brit weirdo Richard Ayoade gets great mileage out of his inherent bizarro nature by joining the watch and fulfilling Stiller's dream of having a black friend in his gentrified home. But as the movie jumps between shouting matches and melees, nothing really sticks. By the time the gunfire stops and the well of dick jokes runs dry, it's likely you'll have forgotten pretty much everything that came before (although the final dick joke is pretty hysterical). You have to wonder if Will Smith showed up during the credits and zapped the whole thing from your memory, then told you to just go watch Attack the Block again. Which you really should...but this time, maybe with some Buds and your bro-bros. R.
The Watch opens today at area multiplexes.