The It List: The Top 10 Things in Portland and the World
it list - casey jarman
Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)
2. WW's Finder 2012
So the deal is that this year's Finder is actually out on the streets already, but because it takes our delivery people a few days to get it into every box, we aren't going to make a big deal about it until Wednesday. But we're telling you, dear It List reader, because we know you're the kind of edgy culture vulture who just needs to see that shit ASAP. You can see a map of where the Finder boxes are here BUT we can't guarantee they all have them yet SO if you want to be 100 percent sure, come on down to the WW offices at 2220 NW Quimby St., because we definitely have them here. Say hi to Max at the front desk and he might give you a Kind bar or something.
3. Double Mountain cherry kriek It tastes like summer.
Actually, maybe we hate Clop, the latest infuriating game from Bennett Foddy, but we can't stop playing it. Oh, you stupid unicorn. MOVE. MOVE.
5. Olympic handball
It's the best Olympic event you've never bothered to watch, next to trampoline gymnastics:
6. Cheddar jalapeno flavored Cheetos
We don't care how much Pirate's Booty or Barbara's you throw at us—there's just no replacement for these awful little orange devils. And while the ingredients list terrifies us (why do they have to modify the corn starch? What's disodium inosinate?), we keep crunching...and crunching...and crunching.
They're extremely well-behaved. They're exceptionally cleanly. They love to hula-hoop. They'll do that loose-limbed hippie dance no matter what kind of music is playing, which makes us hope the festival books a grindcore band next year. They ponder aloud, outside their tents at 3 in the morning, how often the Red Hot Chili Peppers do whippits. And given, the number of extremely young children shoved into Baby Bjorns at Pendarvis Farm past weekend, they won't even let giving birth on-site cause them to miss a second of the Foghorn String Band. What's not to love?
September 29 and 30 at the Oregon Convention Center. This dude will be there, and he rocks Black Happy t-shirts!
9. Web TV series
So much great, professional-quality stuff is being released online these days, proof of how good TV could be without networks suits interfering. Also, five-minute episodes suit our attention spans nicely. Looking forward to H+ premiering tomorrow.