Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong.
Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)
1. Hucking the Fuskies
It's that time of the year again: Washington vs. Oregon. This rivalry has it all: a bitter border war, a history of rampant cheating, backstabbing Rose Bowl votes, fans tackling players on what should have been the game-winning play, and unconfirmed reports of fans throwing dog shit at each other. It's also been remarkably one sided of late. Huskies fans used to joke that the Ducks would have to win every game until 2028 to even up the series. Well, they're on pace to do just that. Oregon looks to make it nine consecutive blowout victories against Ted Bundy's alma mater this Saturday.
2. The bus to Seattle
Speaking of Washington vs. Oregon: At least 1,500 Timbers soccer fans will be getting on the bus to Seattle for the sold-out, 67,000-strong Seattle-Portland rivalry game in Seattle at CenturyLink Field this Sunday, October 7—and those are just the fans buying tickets through the Timbers Army's 107 Independent Supporters’ Trust (107ist). Tickets are members only, just like the jackets say. No word on how many of those fans will spend their Monday morning in a drunk tank, but rest assured it will be lively in our gray neighbor to the north: The 40-year Sounders-Timbers hatefest is our very own local version of the (hateful, awful, disgusting) New York Yankees and (wonderful, heroic, charming) Boston Red Sox. Stakes are high: A tie or win clinches Portland's first-ever Cascadia Cup victory among Seattle, Vancouver and Portland. (Portland's never won when Seattle's been in the race.) In a dismal season spent in or near the gutter of the Western Conference rankings, the Cascadia Cup is Portland's only shot at getting any kind of prize for anything at all. Plus it'll give Merritt Paulson something else to put above his fireplace besides—one presumes—the giant digital wall clock counting down to the end of groin-injured benchwarmer Kris Boyd's multimillion-dollar contract. 3. Not knowing what "Gangnam Style" is
Sometimes, it feels good to just willfully ignore an Internet meme, especially one that seems as annoying as this one based on name alone. It is
a World of Warcraft
sex position, right?4. Jacksonville's Brit Pavilion
The historic little burg of Jacksonville, just west of Medford, has one of the nicest concert outdoor venues we've ever seen. Last week's Wilco show there, which featured a setlist a lot like the Shnitz show earlier this year, was a great fall treat. If you see a band you love scheduled to play there, don't hesitate to make the five-hour drive.
5. Barley Brown's Citra Hot Blonde
Perhaps the best chili beer ever, making the list for a second week (down 1 place from #4) because it's still on tap at Apex. The brewer says there's a little lemongrass in it. Apex bought the only kegs of Barley Brown brought over from Baker City this year, so look for it there.6. Sherlock
The BBC's excellent, excellent modern-day Sherlock Holmes adaptation makes a shock return to the list after eight months
because the CBS's woeful new modern-day Sherlock Holmes adaptation, Elementary
, reminded us how amazing it is in comparison.
7. Moon Patrol
We played this for waaaay too long at the Portland Retro Gaming Expo on the weekend, which has now grown to fill a whole exhibition room at the Convention Center.
8. That Geico commercial with Eddie Money
It makes us sad to see the '80s superstar croaking through a bug-eyed, a capella rendition of "Two Tickets to Paradise," which is odd, because we didn't think we had the capacity to feel any sort of emotion toward Eddie Money at all. And isn't that, ultimately, the point of all commercials: to make us depressed over things we didn't know we could feel depressed about?
9. WW's President of Beers finally ending
Turns out 50 straight days of beer reviews is rather a lot of work. We'll be revealing the final 10 in this week's paper. We promise the results will be controversial.