Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.)
1. Smugly telling the ballot-collecting Bus Project volunteers at your doorstep that you already voted, like, two weeks ago.
Because you’re so on it.
2. Last-minute drop-off voting
Because that huddle of shamefaced Tuesday procrastinators is the closest that Oregon will get to having an actual polling place.
3. The best sports photo of the decade
No explanation needed.
4. Maurice Sendak's posthumous interview in The Believer.
This is probably the final talking-to we'll get from the much-mourned Sendak (Where the Wild Things Are), whose voice remains as expansive and beautiful in its grubby vernacular as that of any Saul Bellow character. “I refuse to lie to children,” he says. “I refuse to cater to the bullshit of innocence.”
6. Nate Motherfucking Silver
Yo, real talk: Gangsta badass Nate Silver and his eloquent and well-reasoned poll analysis blog, the Five Thirty Eight, is the only reason we're somewhat sane today and not fit to whale on that tubby bitch Dean Chambers [Editor’s note: all violence strictly metaphorical]—who hates on Silver’s election analysis for the despicable reason that Silver is “a man of very small stature, a thin and effeminate man with a soft-sounding voice.”
7. The cruelty of nature as frightening parable for smart-mouthed junior high school kids.
This is why trolling is best served anonymous, people.
8. The good people of Ohio
...who unfortunately share a state with these blobs of snot and mozzarella cheese.
9. Charred octopus at Aviary
This It List contributor finally made it to Aviary, WW's 2012 Restaurant of the Year. Needless to say, it was delicious—those crispy pig ears may weird you out, but they're also maddeningly delicious. Crowning the meal, though, was the charred octopus, served on fat scallion pancakes with green papaya and long beans. It's a textural wonder, and damn tasty too.
10. The end of election season
Ah, that sweet, sweet three months of respite till speculation starts for Campaign 2014!