Each week our culture scientists rank their 10 favorite things in the universe. The resulting list is infallible. The list is perfect. If you don't agree with the list, you are wrong. Some items may stay atop the list for weeks, others may only make a brief appearance. Some items are Portland-centric, but only because Portland is at the center of the universe. Please do not write to us, asking for the metrics behind the list. We will not provide source material. We will not be swayed. Bow down to the list. Love the list, as the list loves all things. Let the list move through you. (And, you know, if you have suggestions for the list, stick them in the comments section below.) 

It's the most underrated comedy on network television, but apparently ABC wants it to die a horrible death, because this season they moved it into direct competition with Fox's New Girl, at 9 pm on Tuesdays. If it gets canceled, we're going to be very upset, so please, watch it if you haven't already. Where else on TV are you going to get such trenchant observations as, "Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar's boyfriends from The Wire," anyway?

It wins and wins and wins. Mike D'Antoni could run it, right?  

3. Licorice 
A weekend trip to Candy Babel turned into a sample-happy tour through the tiny shop's licorice offerings, which range from the tough and salty Dutch stuff to sweet and fruity strands from New Zealand. They also sell adorably weird shrimp-shaped marshmallows and homemade cotton candy in flavors such as almond, chai and pumpkin pie, but I just want more licorice. 

4. Not getting Veteran's Day off 
And being able to deliver you this regularly scheduled It List, which you're probably reading from your couch while eating nachos. Creep. 

5. Veteran’s Day food coma 
Five for $5 cheeseburgers today at Burgerville = bellyache. We feel like there’s an alien inside us, trying to escape. 

6. Sweet Home Alabama 
Because the Tide is low, the Reese Witherspoon movie named for a Lynyrd Skynyrd diss track aimed at Neil Young is again the state's most important cultural touchstone. 
For more such college football trash talking, follow our own John Locanthi's Oregon Duck liveblogging

Trust us: It's as awesome as we made it sound, if we do say so ourselves. 

8. Intel denying money to a well-known anti-gay group 
In protest of the Boy Scouts’ standing discrimination against gay scouts, Intel stopped its funding of the Oregon Boy Scouts to the tune of an estimated $180,000. In the words of a junior high school bully to the Boy Scouts: “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Why are you still hitting yourself!” 

9. The smell of outer space 

10. "Fred" Meyers Leonard 
This joke is stolen from a friend of It List, but seriously, someone in the Blazers marketing department needs to make this nickname stick.