It's been brought to our redfaced attention that the horoscopes printed in this week's print edition of Willamette Week were, in fact, last week's horoscopes. Needless to say, this sincerely blunts their usefulness as a guide to the immediate future.
Therefore, we kindly suggest that you under no circumstances follow the advice printed in this week's paper. We, in turn, will follow this week's actual advice for Scorpios: "Be inventive, efficient and thorough in harnessing all of your raw materials."
We regret the error. Your horoscopes for the week of November 15 can be found below: