Like many of you, I'm a careful observer of the Oregonian, quick to gripe about any perceived lapse in quality. Unlike at least a few of you, I am from Ohio, which is why I also closely read the Oregonian's sister paper, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, which is also owned by the Newhouse family.

I think I owe the O a blanket apology. There is nothing in our soon-to-be-no-longer-daily newspaper that is half as dumb as Plain Dealer writer Barbara Collier's review of a decade-old Cheesecake Factory restaurant in a suburban shopping center. (Even that thing Lee Williams wrote about Old Spaghetti Factory.)

Yes, this is a lot like Marilyn Haggerty's infamous Olive Garden review—except this was published in what was once one of America's finest newspapers in a city that, unlike Haggerty's hometown of Grand Forks, North Dakota, has real chefs who routinely win Beard awards. 

A selection of choice quotes:

1. "It is one of the most attractive restaurants in the city." 

2. "It has a worldly concept that reflects various countries and cultures." 

3."[B]e prepared to spend time looking at the menu. It's 22 colorful pages long and almost mind-boggling, with one choice sounding better than the next." 

4."The first Cheesecake Factory was opened by David Overton in Beverly Hills, California in 1978. The [suburb of] Lyndhurst CF opened in October 2003."

5. "Now that kale is the rage, fresh kale salad ($5.95) with special kale from local farmers is popular."

6. "The "glamburgers" consist of more than dozen choices besides the old fashion beef burger ($10.95) and are served on toasted brioche bun."

7. "Besides the array of "glamburgers" there are 10 sandwich choices." 

8. "Fresh brewed coffee ($2.95), fresh orange juice ($3.95)."

9. "There are at least 30 cheesecake choices available daily. The latest is toasted marshmallow S' Mores galore ($7.95) which is a unique twist on the classic childhood favorite featuring Hershey's chocolate, topped with rich chocolate ganache finished with large graham cracker square, whipped cream and housemade marshmallow that's toasted to order. Sinfully delicious."

Also worth reading? PD reporter Michael Heaton's review of a Kevin Costner concert.

"The band sounded good," he writes.

Again, apologies to the O.