August 23rd, 2013 | by AARON MESH News | Posted In: City Hall, Activism, Media

Somebody Found the Perfect Compromise to Portland's Water Wars: Fluoride-Pooping Ducks

taborducksDucks at Mount Tabor's reservoir #5 - Aaron Mesh

The fluoride fight may be over (fluoride lost, FYI), but the parody pages keep on coming.

During the bitter fight over ballot measure 26-151, which would have fluoridated Portland water supply, both sides of the debate created spoof Facebook pages mocking their opponents' messages.

This summer, a new Facebook group has emerged with a modest proposal that should please both fluoride advocates and defenders of the city's open-air reservoirs: Genetically modified ducks pooping fluoride into the drinking water.

The Facebook page, "GMO Ducks That Shit Fluoride," has a mere 86 "likes." Yet as controversy has grown throughout the summer over replacing the Mount Tabor reservoirs with underground tanks, the parodists have continued promoting an alternative.

"Please stand with the activists working in support of open reservoirs at Mt Tabor," the group wrote during the Camp Cascadia protests last month. "If Portland reservoirs are covered, Monsaton ducks will be unable to shit fluoride into the drinking water supply. Like and share this post to show love for open reservoirs where ducks can shit freely."

It is difficult to say what message the group is trying to deliver beyond absurdism. Yet its mission has expanded.

This Sunday, Aug. 25, the group says it will debut its most ambitious initiative yet: a march "in support of the launch of 400 genetically-modified birds that will spray fluoride into our upper atmosphere, giving the vital benefit of fluoride to our teeth and nervous systems."

Photo illustrations suggests the birds will not be limited to ducks, but may also include eagles.

Organizers say the march will begin at 2 pm in the Pearl District. "We will now be marching," they write, "from Jamison Square to the house of the only guy who thinks this march is serious."

 
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