Beats Per Week, NYE Edition

In this new column, WW music calendar and contributing writer Mitch Lillie helps the discerning club-goer put together their weekly calendar by compiling Portland's best dance-music options for the next seven days. Turn up, tune in, drop the bass. 

80s Pun Award 

Binary Musician Runner-Up 

Sellout level: High 

(8 pm, $15) 

Classiness level: High 

Joint twisting threat: High 

Sauerkraut scent level: High 

(9 pm, $10) 

Faux classiness level: You didn't get a table? 

Musical diversity: 0/10 

Musical quality: 7/10 

(9 pm, $50, tables $500) 

Official font: Ancient Aliens Sans

Underground points awarded: 17 

Venue Name Solidity Index: 0 

(8 pm, $5 before, $10 after 10 pm) 

Event planning level: Napoleonic 

Death arrival vector: From Above 

Disco house over/under (in percentage of tracks): 92 

(9 pm, $5) 

Volume: Turnt 

Refinement: Plank constant 

Rap Game: Media blitz 

(9 pm, $40-60, 18+) 

Dope level: Chill 

Tight level: Dope 

Chill level: Tight 

(9 pm, $100) 

Binary Musician Award, bro endorsement 

Decibels: LOL I didn’t go this year, bro 

Female attendance: Low, bro 

(7 pm, $35, 18+)

Pop type: Synth 

Musical Drops (over/under): 0 

Charitable support level: Nick Johnson 

(9 pm, $20)

Local house scene cred: Immeasurable 

80s Pun Award Runner-Up 

Price point: wat 

(9 pm, $5)

Repeat number: 2 

DJ social class: God mode 

Style points: 2816 

(9 pm, free)