September 14th, 2009 5:33 pm | by News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP, Sports, CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP

Zombies Wanted: Free undead vacation for human targets (seriously)

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At least 50 ghouls, preferably off the slab (although even those in the most advanced state of rigor mortis will be considered), for a weekend of terrorizing and feasting upon the flesh of paramilitary personnel, scientists, and townsfolk. Must be able to move at a semi-living pace, lift at least eight pounds and attack with the autonomatonic ferocity of a servant of Satan. Benefits include free camping and an endless supply of warm, writhing flesh. Must be able to withstand a barrage of heavy fire. Living and vegetarians need not apply.

This September 25-27, hordes of the undead will descend upon Northwest Tactical Adventures, a 165-acre property used for war game simulations outside of Beaver Creek, Ore., that happens to double as the Zombie Research Society's Portland Regional Safe Zone. For the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse event, NW Tactical operator James Gunn is hosting a weekend of zombie-slaying mayhem, which includes multiple war games in which a team of survivors is faced with attacking armies of flesh-hungry monstrosities.

In a new development, Gunn has announced that, in an effort to bolster the number of infected cadavers on the onslaught, anyone willing to be a zombie during the games is granted free access to the chaos. That means a whole weekend of terrorizing a group of heavily armed survivalists in a raw-as-torso battle royale is on the house.

But this isn't a totally free ride. The Zombie Apocalypse is an actual simulation and survival test in which humans with Airsoft guns are fending off Armageddon. The humans will be strapped with simulations of actual artillery: shotguns, pistols, rifles and machine guns that shoot tiny pellets that sting like a mofo. Gunn promises a lot of cerebral drama—including infected teammates and real-ass explosions—and each zombie will be treated to a wonderful barrage of bee-stings on the battlefield while chasing after dinner.

For those who can stand a little pain with their apocalyptic fantasies, it's the best free vacation this side of the River Styx, as clusters of zombies attack a band of survivors throughout the property, running instinctively at their prey while being peppered with pellets. And, as anyone worth his entrails will tell you, zombies are exponentially more frightening as their numbers swell.

Along with the war games (including a huge, Saturday night game in the creepy woods), the event includes a zombie flea market, movies, survival-training demonstrations, zombie lectures and workshops.

Ghouls are encouraged, of course, to come in costume, and protective face gear is a must. Makeup teams are scheduled to be on scene for added gore.

For those looking to ward off the dead, a $50 fee for the weekend gets you camping, the games, and all the other goodies (day rates are also available). Guns are available for rental in a limited quantity, and those packing their own heat must be sure to use biodegradable pellets. Slots are also open for civilians who take part in the drama.
Human flesh aside, meals are provided thrice a day for $5 a pop.

Regardless of which side you choose, Zombie Apocalypse is a dream come true for zed heads of all walks, and a further indication that, like its inspiration, the zombie resurgence isn't going to die easy. In fact, it keeps feeding, growing and getting more insane. Gunn is hoping to hold events of escalating scale and violence quarterly, so being in on the ground level is a great way to watch it blossom like a funeral arrangement.

Or at least a good way to become a human target and scare some soldiers.

Register online at
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