Have you always pictured polo as the sole provenance of upper-crust New England types, who send their children to boarding schools with names like "Andover" and "Exeter"—the only people who can afford a sport that requires them to own SEVERAL DOZEN HORSES? Maybe they floated the horses here from Germany. On their gold-encrusted BOAT. Paddled by SLAVES.
The slavish entitlement of these people has been making the rest of us sick since long before the economic crisis. But that doesn't mean that polo isn't, in and of itself, a brutal sport that requires lightning reflexes and nerves of steel.
Both of those traits will be on display this weekend at the Oregon Bike Polo Championships.
Starting at 9 am on Saturday, March 7, teams can register for two days worth of clashing, smashing, malleted mayhem to win the honor of being the best bike polo team in Oregon.
Finals will take place on Sunday, March 8, if the participants (and the spectators) haven't exhausted themselves at the Saturday night post-polo party. Even killer athletes have to kick back sometime. Just make sure you're drinking PBR and not Cristal, otherwise someone might mallet your teeth down your throat.
Oregon Bike Polo Championships. Pier Park, North Lombard Street and Bruce Avenue., 9 am Saturday, March 7. $10-$30.