There. I'm pretty sure I got every red-blooded Portlander's attention.
Registration is now open for this year's Urban Assault Ride
on May 31, the biggest bike scavenger race in the world
. Teams will have to plot their own courses around the city and tackle challenges like bike jousting (ouch) and inflatable slides (yay!). And while we know you're in it for the adventure and not the schwag, your $65
$47 registration fee gets you an American Apparel t-shirt, a drawstring backpack, entry to the prize raffle and the chance to win two New Belgium cruiser bikes (inspirational touring trip across Europe not included). Not to mention entrance to the beer tent, with 10 New Belgium beers on tap.
Those of us who are economically challenged can still ride, if you agree to help out with packet pick-up or flyer before the event. And no worries, it's for a good cause—Portland's proceeds will go to the Bicycle Transportation Alliance
. So what are you waiting for? When's the next time you can coerce your loved one into being photographed while desperately limbo-ing on a mini bike
? Never. Get on it, I say.