Hey, don't start writing letters just yet. I was — and am — a Blazer
fan. I remember how Rip City swept through Portland in the early ‘90's. I still know all the words to “Bust a Bucket"
In fact whenever the Blazers played on TV we muted the telecast so we could hear the “Schonz
” on the radio. Clyde
; those were my guys. I lived and died by their stats.
So I should be celebrating today, right? Last night Brandon Roy
scored 52 in a 124-119 win over the Phoenix Suns. And the Blazers look poised to be a champion contender at some point in the next couple seasons.
I want to hope for the best. But considering the Blazers' dubious history, I can't. Here are some of the lowlights that lead my cynic's heart to predict a colossal buildup of hope and anticipation, then a heart-wrenching collapse:
After losing the first three games of their first-round series to the Dallas Mavericks, the Blazers string us along and win the next three, just to lose game 7. I would have preferred four and out...
Portland makes the Western Conference Finals and faces the LA Lakers. The Blazers have the game and series in the bag. Then Shaq opened the bag and dunked on everyone in the Forum. 'Sheed, Stoudamire, little kids, concession attendants, everyone. Blazers are crushed in the last game of a seven-game series.
Blazers smoke past the Phoenix Suns and Utah Jazz but get burned by the San Antonio Spurs in the Western Conference Finals. Too much time spent in the yellow Hummer (See Item 12 here
1991/92: What is: How do you break a 10-year old's heart?
Blazers make the NBA Finals. Some guy
they passed up on in the draft seven years ago is awaiting them. The Bulls and Jordan beat the Blazers in six games. Not even The Glide can save us.
The Blazers led the Western Division for every day of the season-minus 24 hours. Blazers lose in the Western Conference Finals to the Los Angeles Lakers.
In the Blazers' first Championship appearance since beards and The Grateful Dead led the way, Portland plays the Detroit Pistons for the NBA Championship. All the tie-dyed shirts in the world won't alleviate the beating Portland took from the Bad Boys.
Blazers have a phenomenal year, leading the league with a 117.9 scoring average. They play the Houston Rockets...They lose...Hey, points don't matter. Blazers won Miss Congeniality that year.
Speaking of flops...Blazers pick Sam Bowie with 2nd overall pick, pass up North Carolina guard, Michael something…. Bowie has career plagued with injury. What's that saying about future repeating itself?…cough, cough
The Portland Trail Blazers win the first of what is expected to be many championships for the Rose City…oh expectation, it's a bitch…