October 17th, 2008 5:33 pm | by Tony Piff News | Posted In: CLEAN UP

Nobody Works Anymore: This is Why You Beat Your Kids

bird Earlier in the month, there was this story about a precocious seven-year-old who broke into an Australian zoo and systematically fed nine caged animals to a saltwater crocodile . "Security camera footage at the Alice Springs Reptile Center showed the smiling youngster also bludgeoning to death a small blue tongue lizard and two more thorny devils during a half-hour of breakfast-time havoc."

"Many of the animals fed to the croc were rare or mature and would be difficult to replace."

The little lad's age protects him from prosecution, but his parents will likely be sued.

The law of this land is a little different. A nine-year-old Florida girl is being charged with felony battery (two counts!), after spitting on teachers and kicking at the cops who struggled to restrain her.

Only in Florida!

Said Fort Myers police Officer Keith Nicholson, "(The girl) has thrown chairs at the teacher, threatened to stab the teacher, slapped the phone from her hand as she tried to call for help , kicked the teacher and kicked the door into the teacher ."

Alas, my silver clouds of amusement always seem to have a grey lining : the child reportedly suffers from schizophrenia .

But watch this, if you haven't seen it already. The thing I like most about this video of a seven-year-old car thief is that it doesn't reinforce any negative stereotypes . The playful tyke knew he was misbehaving but explained, "I just wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friends. " See, nobody got hurt, and he's honest about the whole thing. No worries about this kid's future.

[youtube GLeVlBca5lg]

Or this one's, for that matter:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

And finally, one of those videos that makes you hunger for Youtube in hi def: horrible tricycle wrecks . Watch those little pedals spin!

[youtube oTKFbuikkuk]

Lots more reasons Nobody Works Anymore here !
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