August 22nd, 2008 | by KELLY CLARKE News | Posted In: CLEAN UP, Sports, Multnomah County

Finally, somebody writes the Beijing story I've been waiting for.

2010_sex_olympics_2Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm concerned that the Chinese gymnasts are, like, all four-year olds too. But, the Times UK was nice enough to research a much more important question that I've been pondering since all those digi-fireworks went off at the opening ceremonies: Who's getting laid at the Olympic Village?

Answer: Everybody.

Here's a taster from former Olympian hot, sweaty tell all in today's edition of the London Times, Sex and the Olympic City:
Barcelona was, for many of us Olympic virgins, as much about sex as it was about sport. There were the gorgeous hostesses - there to assist the athletes - in their bright yellow shirts and black skirts; there were the indigenous lovelies who came to watch the competitions. And then there were the female athletes - literally thousands of them - strutting, shimmying, sashaying and jogging around the village, clad in Lycra and exposing yard upon yard of shiny, toned, rippling and unimaginably exotic flesh. Women from all the countries of the world: muscular, virile, athletic and oozing oestrogen. I spent so much time in a state of lust that I could have passed out. Indeed, for all I knew I did pass out - in a place like that how was one to tell the difference between dreamland and reality?

It was not just the guys. The women, too, seemed in thrall to their hormones, throwing around daring glances and dynamite smiles like confetti. No meal or coffee break was complete without a breathless conversation with a lithe long jumper from Cuba or an Amazonian badminton player from Sweden, the mutual longing so evident it was almost comical. It was an effort of will to keep everything in check until competition had finished. But, once we were eliminated from our respective competitions, we lunged at each other like suicidal fencers.

Oh, and props to China for supporting the boink-fest:
There is a famous story from Seoul in 1988 that there were so many used condoms on the roof terrace of the British team's residential block the night after the swimming concluded that the British Olympic Association sent out an edict banning outdoor sex. Here in Beijing, organisers have realised that such prohibitions are about as useful as banning breathing and have, instead, handed out thousands of free condoms to the athletes. If you can't stop 'em, at least make it safe.

Read all the juicy details here.

And psst, sexy Beaverton fencing ladies? Be safe—don't poke anybody's eye out.
 
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