Home · Articles · By JOHN LOCANTHI

10 Reasons This Season Will Be Different

Both Oregon schools enter the season ranked in the top 25


After months of obsessing over recruiting rankings, crucial missed plays and the saga of Johnny Football, the 2013-14 college football season is finally upon us. The season officially kicks off with the battle of the Carolinas set to the tune of that old South Carolinian ditty, “Sandstorm,” on ESPN at 3pm this afternoon. Both Orego...   More
Thursday, August 29, 2013 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Album Review: Boards of Canada, Tomorrow's Harvest (Warp)

Hear it for yourself tonight at Holocene's listening party.

boards of canada

Ever since the release of Music Has the Right to Children in 1998, the alternately nostalgic and deeply unnerving ambient music of Boards of Canada has captivated a small, cultish fanbase. There are the thousands of YouTube videos trying to emulate the hallucinog...   More
Tuesday, June 11, 2013 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Softer Than Prozac

Despite celebrity status, a local therapy llama continues his charitable work.

Culture Features
Animal therapy is big and getting bigger. Veterans returning from the Bush Wars are raising dogs to cope with post-traumatic stress disorder, and recent studies show that animals reduce anxiety    More
Wednesday, May 1, 2013 JOHN LOCANTHI

New Column: Beaverton As Fuck

beaverton as fuck logo

Like many of the Portland-area's great columnists, John Locanthi grew up in Beaverton. After briefly considering making the big move to the nearest large city so he could write about how people there are different from people in Beaverton, John decided to just stay in Beaverton. This former WW intern is aggressively seeking full-time employment. In the meantime, he shares the Beaverton w...   More
Monday, April 1, 2013 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Jack the Giant Slayer

An English folktale, with extra potty humor.

Movie Reviews & Stories
Jack and the Beanstalk is one of the few English folktales Americans know by heart. A peasant boy sells his abusive guardian’s livestock for some beans, the beans get wet, a beanstalk grows, a   More
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 JOHN LOCANTHI

Winter Guide 2013: Slippery Slope

A brandy-fueled test slide on the newfangled sleds.

Featured Stories
As a young lad coming of age in my Fortress of Solitude on the steep slopes of Cooper Mountain, there was no thrill greater than snowfall. The streets and the hilly local vacant lot were instant   More
Wednesday, January 23, 2013 JOHN LOCANTHI

Re: UO Head Coaching Position

John Locanthi is being considered to replace Chip Kelly at UO. We obtained his application.


Ten days after it was announced that Chip Kelly was returning to Oregon, the coach was instead hired away by the NFL's Philadelphia Eagles. Kelly’s short but successful tenure at the school leaves a long shadow, but as WW hypothesized last month, he just might have been too good to stay at the college level.
Some reports have suggested that current Oregon offensive coordinator Mark Helfrich will be promoted to head coach. However, the University of Oregon is required to post the position on their website. A job description for the position is up—no prior head coaching experience required!—and sources say at least one obsessive Ducks fan is applying.

John Locanthi2220 NW Quimby St.Portland, OR 97210(503) 243-2122jlocanthi@wweek.com
January 17, 2013
Rob MullensAthletic DirectorUniversity of Oregon Athletic Department
Dear Mr. Mullens,
Over the past four years, Oregon's football program has become a national powerhouse. But now "Big Balls" Chip Kelly is taking his talents to the Eagles dynasty, leaving an opening at one of the most attractive coaching jobs in all of the Pac-12.
I’m sure your email box is stuffed with the resumes of worthy candidates eager to be summarily passed over for offensive coordinator Mark Helfrich. Allow me to be one more, but I do have some experience that is hard to come by. I bring on-the-field experience from my seven seasons as head coach of the North Carolina Tar Heels in EA Sports' NCAA Football 2006. The consecutive national titles speak for themselves, and my team won them in similar fashion to Kelly’s last year at Oregon: My backups routinely played the entire second halves of blowouts. However, not once did I deal with figures like Willie Lyles—in fact, the NCAA never investigated the program during my tenure. I was repeatedly invited to move up to the pros with a position leading the Oakland Raiders in Madden NFL 06, but politely declined without any undue fanfare.
That coaching experience and a lifetime spent as an armchair coach of the Oregon Ducks have given me an acute understanding of preparation, play-calling, clock management and hindsight. Perhaps you remember the timeout that gave Minnesota enough time to properly line up for the game-winning field goal in the More
Thursday, January 17, 2013 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Brew Views: Wreck-It Ralph

Level up.

Brew Views
In Rich Moore’s entertaining Wreck-It Ralph, John C. Reilly voices the title character, a villain in an 8-bit arcade game. Ralph isn’t a villain; he’s just gets tossed in the mud every day    More
Wednesday, December 26, 2012 JOHN LOCANTHI

Tom Cruise Wears Elevator Shoes: Jack Reacher Reviewed


Tom Cruise is 5'6". Jack Reacher is 6'5". Does Cruise pull it off? Our critic isn't quite so sure.
Critic's Grade: B-
In the opening of this impeccably timed Tom Cruise vehicle, a sniper in Pittsburgh guns down five apparently random people, including a woman babysitting a young girl. Detective Emerson (David Oyelowo) finds a wealth of evidence at the crime scene to convict a f...   More
Friday, December 21, 2012 by JOHN LOCANTHI

Chip Kelly’s Secret Offense

Why boosters are annoyed by the most successful football coach in Oregon’s history.

Cover Story
When the Oregon Ducks plucked a little-known offensive coordinator named Chip Kelly out of the University of New Hampshire in   More
Wednesday, December 19, 2012 JOHN LOCANTHI

Web Design for magazines