Welcome to Bulgaria, where NASCAR drivers gone bad hire out their services to criminals, anonymous super-criminals rob investment banks, Justin Bieber's ex-girlfriend carjacks Mustangs and a police car flips over dramatically every three minutes. Little more than a 90-minute chase scene, Getaway
is targeted directly at the Fast & Furious
crowd, but it has only one expensive car to smash up instead of many dozen. When former racecar driver Brent Magna's (Ethan Hawke) wife is kidnapped (on Christmas!), Magna has to drive a nameless villain's car on a rampage through the Bulgarian capital, following orders if he ever wants to see his wife again. Along the way, Magna is joined by a teenage girl known only as “The Kid” (Selena Gomez), a tech genius who waves guns around and routinely hacks into government computer networks from her iPad. Hawke spends the entire movie sitting in a car and screaming at the dashboard phone, yet he’s surprisingly effective. Gomez, on the other hand, radiates boredom and angst as she delivers semi-memorable lines like “I’ve got a lot of money, you know.” As the villain, Jon Voight spends the majority of the film as a mysterious voice, and fittingly we see nothing but an extreme close-up of his lips as he eats olives and sips vodka. For the undiscriminating car buff, this film could be a dripping, sugary fix. For everyone else, it’s a long and vapid advertisement for iPads and expensive cars.