[FOUR NIGHTS ONLY] There are a lot of scary things about the supernatural thriller Apartment 1303
, and none of those things are the ghosts who look like they were picked up outside the set of a Biography Channel "true life" ghost story. It's frightening to see a once-promising actress like Rebecca De Mornay going completely over the top as a combination of Stevie Nicks and Joan Crawford, flailing about in a drunken series of spasms. It's scary that somebody got paid to write a remake of a Japanese flick completely drained of logic, in which not one but two sisters (Mischa Barton and Julianne Michelle) inhabit an apartment with a history of mysterious suicides and horror-stock neighbors like the creepy little girl and the skeezy landlord. And it’s completely unnerving that somebody would invest $5 million in a 3-D indie horror flick that looks and feels like a particularly bad Lifetime film, complete with an overbearing mother, sisterly strife and Barton's breasts blurred out by pixels (yes, this is a thing). Director Michael Taverna takes the entire affair completely seriously. That would be fine if there were some legitimate scares. Instead, it's a disaster, and an utterly dull one. It'll be shocking if anyone stays awake for the whole mess.
Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Thursday-Sunday, July 25-28