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Grudge Match

By CURTIS WOLOSCHUK
During the enfeebled showdown that caps Peter Segal’s “grumpy old men come to blows” dramedy, television announcers remind us that old rivals Henry “Razor” Sharp (Sylvester Stallone) and Billy “The Kid” McDonnen (Robert De Niro) both walked away from boxing while at the height of their powers and with virtually unblemished records. Having endured almost two insufferable hours of punishingly lame gags and limp training montages (rest assured, raw eggs are as disgusting as ever), viewers can’t help but be taunted by a “what if?” scenario in which these screen icons demonstrate a similar desire to go out on top. With Stallone moping nobly and De Niro mugging shamelessly, their demeanors rarely suggest that 30 years of resentment are reaching a simmer, much less a boil. The other relationships are similarly unconvincing, with Stallone’s romance with Kim Basinger (seemingly in an opioid haze) proving spectacularly anemic. In turn, the seniors’ climactic bout might be the most dispiriting scene to unfold in a boxing ring since a broken-down Mike Tyson surrendered to Kevin McBride back in 2005. At least Tyson had the decency to admit it was just a cash grab.
 
  • Genres: Comedy
  • Running Time: 114 minutes
  • Release Date: Wednesday, December 25, 2013
  • Country: United States
  • Language: English
  • MPAA Rating: PG-13 [ Language, Sexual Content, Sports Action Violence ]
  • Critic's Score: D
  • Starring: Robert De Niro [Billy ``The Kid'' McDonnen], Sylvester Stallone [Henry ``Razor'' Sharp], Kevin Hart [Dante Slate Jr.], Kim Basinger [Sally Rose], Alan Arkin [Louis ``Lightning'' Conlon], Jon Bernthal [BJ], Camden Gray [Trey], LL Cool J [Frankie Brite], Carrie Lazar [Nora], Todd Truley [Dr. Camare], Paul Ben-Victor [Lou Camare], Mykel Jenkins [Shmoo], Anthony Anderson [Mr. Sandpaper Hands], Han Soto [Kenji], Rich Little [Boxing Announcer], Jim Lampley [Himself], Barry Primus [Joey the Bartender], Anthony Bean [Dante Slate Sr.], Ireland Baldwin [Young Sally], Mason Mackie [Young Dante]
  • Directed by: Peter Segal [Director], Tim Kelleher [Screenwriter], Rodney Rothman [Screenwriter], Bill Gerber [Producer], Mark Steven Johnson [Producer], Michael Ewing [Producer], Peter Segal [Producer], Ravi Mehta [Producer], Jane Rosenthal [Executive Producer], Kevin Templeton [Executive Producer], Dean Semler [Cinematographer], Wynn Thomas [Production Design], Mary Vogt [Costume Designer], William Kerr [Film Editor], Trevor Rabin [Original Music], Roger Mussenden [Casting], Kelly Curley [Art Director], Matt Callahan [Set Decoration]
  • Visit the Movie Website | Watch the trailer
 

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