Willamette Week - http://www.wweek.com/portland/articles.sec-1462-1-.html Tue, 02 Sep 14 00:00:00 -0500 en hourly 1 <i>Portlandia</i> At Cartlandia - Fred and Carrie go to 82nd Avenue. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22223-portlandia_at_cartlandia_fred_and_carrie_go_to_82nd_avenue.html Only the most devious real-estate agent would classify the tract of land occupied by Cartlandia as “prime Portland.” Splayed across a parking lot on Southeast 82nd Avenue, just a few hundred f]]> The Hole Story - 3 months behind the counter at Voodoo Doughnut. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21767-the_hole_story_3_months_behind_the_counter_at_voodoo_doughnut.html “TALKING SHIT ABOUT HALL & OATES WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.” This sign hanging next to the employee schedule at Voodoo Doughnut is probably a joke, but I’m not quite]]> The Real World: Portland - 10 people who are living in the city without homes. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20984-the_real_world_portland_10_people_who_are_living_in_the_city_without_homes.html It’s been an eventful month for Portland’s homeless. On July 15, an employee of the Portland Outdoor Store downtown was attacked by a young male who was described by police as a “street ki]]> Vanifest Destiny: When In Roam - Why I left a comfy job and sweet apartment in Ohio to live in a van in Portland. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20731-vanifest_destiny_when_in_roam_why_i_left_a_comfy_job_and_sweet_apartment_in_ohio_to_live_in_a_van_in.html I’m lying on the backseat of a busted old conversion van that reeks of oil and cigar smoke in the parking lot of a Space Age gas station near the Portland-Gresham border. It’s not quite 6 am, ]]> Strip Steak - One man’s quest for the best exotic meat in Portland. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21005-strip_steak_one_mans_quest_for_the_best_exotic_meat_in_portland.html It all started on a Friday night at Mall 205. I found myself at Falco’s Pub, a tiny bar with a giant vinyl sign advertising $1.50 PBR and a $5 steak special. Steak? At a dive across from a mall?]]> Coffee Issue 2013: Coffee-Shop Etiquette - Rules of the road at six different types of Portland cafe. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21602-coffee_issue_2013_coffee_shop_etiquette_rules_of_the_road_at_six_different_types_of_portland_cafe.html The Cupping Lab How you know you’re there: You walk into a rehabbed warehouse and are greeted by a guy with an apron, a beard, a Don Draper haircut and a coffee setup that looks like a meth lab]]> Magic Kingdom - Does being cool matter at a competitive <i>Magic</i> tournament with $3,000 on the line? http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-19616-magic_kingdom_does_being_cool_matter_at_a_competitive_magic_tournament_with_%243000_on_the_line.html There was no stigma when I started playing Magic: The Gathering. In 1996, the game caught on like wildfire at my parochial school in Akron, Ohio.]]> Deal With It - A guide to dealing with your dealer—whoever it may be. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21814-deal_with_it_a_guide_to_dealing_with_your_dealer%E2%80%94whoever_it_may_be.html THE BUD-TOTING BIKE MESSENGER How you know you’re there: You’re at home, you send a text message and a few minutes later (OK, probably longer), a sweaty man whose BO stench c]]> Stoked & Broke - Throwing down methods and Rainier with the board bums drawn to Mount Hood’s endless winter. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22805-stoked_broke_throwing_down_methods_and_rainier_with_the_board_bums_drawn_to_mount_hoods_endless_wint.html It’s winter in Australia, but Rupert Michell has no interest in the puny ski hills of his native land. Instead, Michell took a 20-hour flight, then drove 1,000 miles to ski in Oregon—in June]]> The Best Thing I Heard This Year: Portland Edition - <i>WW</i>’s music staff picks its favorite local albums of 2013. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21668-the_best_thing_i_heard_this_year_portland_edition_wws_music_staff_picks_its_favorite_local_albums_of.html Blitzen Trapper, VII A consistently suggestive blend of robust alt-country and catchy guitar-picking from Portland’s resident kings of genre-roving Americana. (GS) Epp, Chrome Plated Chronicle]]> Vanifest Destiny: Who Lives in That Van? - http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20732-vanifest_destiny_who_lives_in_that_van_.html Look down your street. Even if you live in the West Hills, there’s a good chance you’ve got a van or two parked nearby. Vans are everywhere in Cascadia—and some of them double as houses. VO]]> The Chronic of Gnarnia - How Portland’s hardest-working stoners created one of the country’s best tape labels. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21092-the_chronic_of_gnarnia_how_portlands_hardest_working_stoners_created_one_of_the_countrys_best_tape_l.html Gnarnia isn’t hard to find. Just head south on Southeast 11th Avenue, until the smell of grease radiating from the Burgerville on Hawthorne Boulevard gives way to bong smoke. It’s home to a un]]> Strip Club Guide 2014: Strip Steak - We rank these pieces of meat. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22099-strip_club_guide_2014_strip_steak_we_rank_these_pieces_of_meat.html Thanks to Oregon Liquor Control Commission laws that require bars to offer patrons “substantial food items” alongside a shelf full of liquor, your favorite strip club in Portland is likely t]]> Pac From the Grave - 128 bytes and 35 years later, people are still making new games for the Atari 2600. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21212-pac_from_the_grave_128_bytes_and_35_years_later_people_are_still_making_new_games_for_the_atari_2600.html One summer day in 1989, my family found an Atari 2600 at a yard sale. Even then, it was a wood-paneled relic of a simpler time, before slap bracelets or mutated turtles. My parents were happy to]]> Devil’s Dill - http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21032-devils_dill_.html If you’re not from the Midwest, you might wonder why anyone would keep a sandwich shop open until 3 am. But drunken college kids without much to do require massive sandwiches to soak up the bo]]> Vanifest Destiny: Vanzanita - I get booted from a beach town by the cops and give deep thought to the van plan. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21187-vanifest_destiny_vanzanita_i_get_booted_from_a_beach_town_by_the_cops_and_give_deep_thought_to_the_v.html Is this what a tsunami feels like? That’s what I thought as I awoke to find my home violently rocking back and forth. I cursed myself for not paying attention to the tsunami evacuation route s]]> Vanifest Destiny: The Same Sky - Homeless, not hapless. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20954-vanifest_destiny_the_same_sky_homeless_not_hapless.html It’s Friday afternoon in front of Voodoo Doughnut, and a long line of tourists bears sweltering 90-degree heat for 45 minutes to spend $20 on a pink box of gluttonous confections topped with Fro]]> Spin Laundry Lounge: Quick Slosh - http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22204-spin_laundry_lounge_quick_slosh_.html Most proper college towns have at least one musty, old basement dive that swapped its pool tables for a handful of rickety Maytags that “fell off the back of a truck.” Portland deserves someth]]> Vanifest Destiny: The Shower Scene - The logistical challenges of waking up without a place to piss. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20788-vanifest_destiny_the_shower_scene_the_logistical_challenges_of_waking_up_without_a_place_to_piss.html It’s 8:30 in the morning and I have to pee. This is a common problem, I know. For most people, it is easily solvable. For most of my own life, it was easily solvable. But now that I live in a ]]> Letter To My 13-Year-Old Self - RE: Third Eye Blind http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21620-letter_to_my_13_year_old_self_re_third_eye_blind.html Dear 13-Year-Old-Pete: It’s yourself again, from the future. You’re probably sitting in the basement eating Hot Pockets while eagerly awaiting MTV’s Amp and the slim chance they’ll air the co]]> Danny Bland, <i>In Case We Die</i> - Chokin’ on the ashes of her enemy… http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21102-danny_bland_in_case_we_die_chokin_on_the_ashes_of_her_enemy%E2%80%A6.html If you were to ask Danny Bland what being a junkie musician in early ’90s Seattle was all about, you’d probably get an earful. Having logged time as the bassist of Cat Butt and the Dwarves, ]]> Into It Over It: Wednesday, Jan. 29 - Emo revivalists make the world a safe place to cry again. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21794-into_it_over_it_wednesday_jan_29_emo_revivalists_make_the_world_a_safe_place_to_cry_again.html Emo should’ve seen its slow decline coming. It was only a matter of time before the melody-driven punk offshoot collapsed under the heft of its aesthetical crimes against humanity—though the s]]> William Todd Schultz, <i>Torment Saint: The Life of Elliott Smith</i> - In search of the man behind the misery. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21404-william_todd_schultz_torment_saint_the_life_of_elliott_smith_in_search_of_the_man_behind_the_misery.html In the 10 years since Elliott Smith died of a self-inflicted stab wound to the chest, the one thing we’ve collectively come to understand about the singer-songwriter is that he may never be ]]> Bike Guide 2014: The Unipiper - Behind the Darth Vader mask of Portland’s one-wheeled mascot. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22583-bike_guide_2014_the_unipiper_behind_the_darth_vader_mask_of_portlands_one_wheeled_mascot.html It’s a statistical certainty that you know of the Unipiper. Regardless of how—small talk at a party or through Jimmy Kimmel—the guy riding around town on a unicycle, decked out in a kilt and]]> Vanifest Destiny: Stealth Bomber - First rule of vandwelling: Don’t let anyone see you vandwelling. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20758-vanifest_destiny_stealth_bomber_first_rule_of_vandwelling_dont_let_anyone_see_you_vandwelling.html The cops may be on to me. It’s 10:30 on Monday night and I’m walking “home” to the van where I’ve lived for a week. I’ve got one eye on a police cruiser as a black-and-white Radio Cab ]]> Stalking a Stalker - A crummy 12 hours spent in front of some phony’s house. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-21111-stalking_a_stalker_a_crummy_12_hours_spent_in_front_of_some_phonys_house.html Around my fourth hour of staring at a nondescript ranch house in the foothills of Mount Tabor, my mind begins to wander. My laptop picks up an errant Wi-Fi signal from one of the neighborhood’s ]]> Vanifest Destiny: Rolling Roomies - A freeway breakdown and a new friend. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20845-vanifest_destiny_rolling_roomies_a_freeway_breakdown_and_a_new_friend.html I expect the gas station to be empty. It’s 11 pm on a Sunday night, and I’m out on the border of Gresham to check on my broken-down van and maybe slip inside for shuteye. Instead, I see some]]> Headout: Pete Repeat - (Going back to) Wellsville with Michael Stipe, Iggy Pop and assorted other indie rockers who hung with the Wrigley Brothers. http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-20821-headout_pete_repeat_%28going_back_to%29_wellsville_with_michael_stipe_iggy_pop_and_assorted_other_in.html Remember the ’90s? Remember when indie rockers had enough clout to make it as bit actors in popular children’s television shows? Or when hell-raising garage-rock icons played park rangers an]]> The High Water Mark: Critical Pass - http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22765-the_high_water_mark_critical_pass_.html There’s a definitive moment in Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas when Hunter S. Thompson sums up the end of the ’60s era profoundly, making note of a “high-water mark” that can be seen from]]> Album Review: Talkative - <i>Hot Fruit BBQ</i> (Self-Released) http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22716-album_review_talkative_hot_fruit_bbq_%28self_released%29.html [SPACE PUNK] If I had a nickel for every time someone likened a buzz-worthy band of stoners with laptops and delay pedals to Animal Collective, I’d certainly have enough cash to purchase a table]]>