A Great Deal Less Awful Than One Would Expect: Beverly Hills Chihuahua Reviewed

The Taco Bell spokesmammals were screened for critics after WW press deadlines: Beverly Hills Chihuahua Early in Disney's talking-dog comedy Beverly Hills Chihuahua, as one of the human characters realizes that the titular pocket pooch has gone missing in Mexico, he asks, “Donde esta Chloe?,” a throwaway question that the movie bothers to translate with an English subtitle. Even ...   More
Tuesday, September 30, 2008 AARON MESH

Trash Bash: Miss White Trash 2009 (now with video!)

You could tell she would be the winner the minute she walked into Dante's. Her red hair swept back in a fashion somewhere between Peg Bundy, Jackie O, Jenna Jameson and a dust bunny. A pack of Basics tucked into her hot-pink bra strap. Breath with an alcohol content so high she was advised to keep away from the tabletop fire pits in the bar. Mascara apparently applied with a shotgun. And tight ...   More
Monday, September 22, 2008

Nobody Works Anymore: CYA L8TR TRL

OMG! Like, I totally just found out that MTV is getting rid of TRL! WTF? That was, like, so totally the last place on MTV that I could, like, tune in to watch music videos and stuff, and it had so many great moments. I wonder if they're like, going to replace it with some reality show or something that, like, lets regular people live like they're rich and famous or something? 'Cause I would so ...   More
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 Matt Graham

What a Bitch: Feminist Mag in a Financial Crunch

I first read about it here. And, frankly, I didn' t believe it. And no, I am not talking about the big problems at the O. I am talking about Bitch, a national publication devoted to giving a voice to women, or as it says on its Wiki page: "Bitch describes itself as a 'Feminist response to pop culture.' Articles offer a third-wave feminist perspective on current political events and social and ...   More
Monday, September 15, 2008 Byron Beck

Nobody Works AnyMore: Quintuple Methadone Dose For Pachyderm Junkie

Nobody Works Any More: Animal Edition! First thing, let's get the cuteness out of the way: Okay, on to the news: The elephant in the room. The BBC reports that handlers fed an Asian elephant heroin-spiked bananas, which seems totally irresponsible. Strategically placed stickers and flesh-colored underwear. PETA pays hot, sexy, desperate models to go "nude" for PR animal rights. 13 ...   More
Monday, September 8, 2008 Tony Piff

Nobody Works Anymore...Seriously, Everybody's Been Laid Off

I don't know about those folks on Wall Street, but down here on Main Street things are awful tough. I can't even afford a new pair of blue jeans, and you have no idea how bad I want one now. Hell, these women have to steal just to buy shirts. Things are so bad, even the elderly have been reduced to stealing. To make things worse, a friend showed me this video to cheer me up, but it's had nightmares ...   More
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 Matt Graham

Nobody Works Anymore: Awkward!

So apparently last week was the Republicans' "Let's make awkward appearances on the Elite Media's comedy shows and try to smile as they rip on us" week. It was about as cringe inducing as it sounds. First, Presidential candidate John "Mayday! Mayday!" McCain showed up for a chat with Dave Letterman. Here's a link . It's bit long, so make sure you've got about 25 minutes ...   More
Monday, October 20, 2008 Matt Graham

Thanksgiving for Lazy People (like us).

Sometimes the thought of dealing with all that raw poultry and pie crust just makes you wanna throw up. And for those times, here's a helpful list of some local restaurants serving a full Thanksgiving Dinner on Thursday, Nov. 27. And we've also got a list of helpful local purveyors who can help you transform your home holiday table through the magic of takeout. We'll update this post as more ...   More
Monday, November 17, 2008 KELLY CLARKE

Milk Premieres Tonight, Wendy and Lucy Tomorrow. Which One Should You See?

This is the weekend the Northwest Film and Video Festival officially turns into an embarrassment of riches: Gus Van Sant's Milk premieres tonight at the Albert Schnitzer Concert Hall, while Kelly Reichardt's Wendy and Lucy makes its local debut tomorrow night in the Portland Art Museum's Whitsell Auditorium. As a cinephile, and a citizen of this fine filmmaking capital, it is your duty to ...   More
Friday, November 14, 2008 AARON MESH

Salmon: Tasty and Mysterious

It seems like Portlanders already know a fair bit about salmon, that fabulous, tasty-fleshed fish, friend of the cedar plank and worthy topper of bagels (when smoked and hopefully sprinkled with capers). Others know it better as a harbinger of commercial fishing and eco-disaster as well as a political wiffleball —this fish gets more headlines than Jaws . But, my friends, it turns out there is ...   More
Friday, November 14, 2008 KELLY CLARKE


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