Why do I have to pay the towing fees for my recovered stolen car?
My car was stolen. Thankfully, it was recovered. But
since the cops had it towed, it cost me $200. The tow company says it
sends most of this money back to the city. Why should I have to pay to
Who in Portland is rich enough to buy the city another professional sports team?
Portland still has only one team—the Trail Blazers—from
one of the four traditional major sports leagues. Does your privileged
position as a widely read columnist give you access to the well-h
What are the chances that there are monster-sized fish swimming in Bull Run?
With Bull Run being off limits to most everyone for
years, there could be some monster-sized fish swimming around in there.
Has it ever been considered for a monster-fish reality-TV show?
The number of candidates in my Voters' Pamphlet doesn't match my ballot. Conspiracy?
My Voters’ Pamphlet lists only one Democratic candidate for governor. However, my primary ballot has two candidates listed. For U.S. senator, the pamphlet has one candidate and the ballot has three.
Is it illegal to bring a metal water bottle into a bar?
I’m getting scolded for bringing my metal water bottle
into the bar. Some bars say it’s illegal; others say I can keep it, but
only if I let them fill it with their water. I can’t find this
What’s the deal with that wacky religious billboard just outside of Kalama?
I drove to Seattle over the weekend and passed that wacky religious billboard just outside of Kalama. What’s the deal? —Joseph
Ah, the legendary Uncle Sam billboard of Chehalis. For
half a cent
Is it just me, or is Portland being invaded by
Californians? Lately I’ve counted between six and 14 cars per day with
California license plates. What gives? —Mini Coupe
We interrupt this broa
Who paid for the interstate signs pointing to the Moda Center instead of the Rose Garden?
I noticed all the interstate signs have been changed to
direct people to Moda Center instead of the Rose Garden. Who paid for
those new signs? Paul Allen or you and me?
—A Different Paul
An asshole coyote just reduced our chicken population
from 14 to five. There’s probably a fine for shooting that bastard in
the face, but what should I do instead?
You’ve got asshole