editor: BYRON BECK contributors: MARK BAUMGARTEN, KIM COLTON, ELIZABETH DYE, KATRINA RAMSER art direction: ANNE REESER, JASON LANDIS style direction: ELIZABETH DYE photography: MARK KOHLMAN production assistant: ALEX VALDIVIESO stylist: GALEN AMUSSEN production: AMY RYAN, THOMAS COBB, FRANK ZURBANO, SAMANTHA GARDNER, TOM HUMPHREY, KENDON GRAY, SARAH BODEN copy editors: IAN GILLINGHAM, MARGARET SEILER special thanks to: RANDY CAPRON, BIRTHDAY BOY FRANK, ADAM AND ALL THE GOOD FOLKS AT DANTE'S

ASK A ROCK STAR

BY BYRON BECK & KIM COLTON - bbeck@wweek.com, kcolton@wweek.com

The fashionable family act known as Eux Autres answer your most difficult fashion questions

Eux Autres--the name alone radiates sex appeal. Good thing brother-sister duo Nick and Heather Larimer back up their French name (roughly, "the others") with a crisp pop sound and a sleek wardrobe. It's so obvious Nick and Heather know their way around a dressing room, we asked them (Nick toils in WW's classifieds department; Heather is a teacher who has also logged hours as part of Steven Malkmus' band the Jicks) to help out rock-'n'-roll fashion victims everywhere.

I'm going on a two-week tour down the I-5 corridor. What should I make sure to pack, and how do I keep my look fresh?

Pack a dark blazer, simple tank tops, T-shirts, a track jacket or hoodie, a good pair of jeans, a pair of sneakers and (if you're a girl) a sexy pair of shoes. Also, travel packets of Woolite and a hand-held steamer--or take a hot shower and hang your clothes on the curtain rod.

I'm a rock goddess with a dirty past. What should I wear to remain inconspicuous but still get attention from the press?

You should accessorize with a pet beagle, like Courtney Love did at her custody trial for Frances Bean. Beagles are inherently disarming. We have one named Smollie--she makes meter maids melt.

What should I do to avoid "wardrobe malfunctions"?

Keep a sewing kit and duct tape handy. There's not much that can't be fixed. If your shirt rips, put a duct-tape "A" on your chest and say you're Hester Prynne.

Wigs: friend or foe?

Depends. Flip Your Wig was the worst Hüsker Dü album, but Wig Out at Denko's was a great Dag Nasty album.

I want to get backstage. What will get me noticed?

Food: cheeseburgers, ice cream or cookies.

Polyester: a necessary evil or just downright wrong?

Evil. It's like that family member that retains memories of every bad thing. It doesn't matter how many times you wash it--the smell comes back when it heats up with your body temperature.

How do I keep from perspiring?

Wear nursing pads in your armpits. They're like thin panty-liners, but they're tit-shaped.

Is sweat a bad thing in music?

I wish we sweated more, because it looks like we're not trying.

What's the one thing I should wear that will guarantee me access to the VIP after-party?

A police uniform.

Where can I get the bling-bling without the ka-ching?

William Temple House Thrift (2230 NW Glisan St., 222-3328) or Xtabay Vintage (2515 SE Clinton St., 230-2899).

What do you think of bands who look they just rolled out of bed?

Depends if they look like they just rolled out of bed with someone or alone in their mom's basement. There's a difference. It's like, "Aw man, my parents were up late last night playing Keno," or "I was making sweet love until 1 pm."

I'm a trust-fund kid, but I want to look indie-rock. How can I pull it off without blowing my cover?

Use your roots to work the indie-blueblood angle. Wear Brooks Brothers pale yellow oxfords, duck shoes. That stuff is cool, a lot harder to pull off than a '70s concert tee and a hoodie! Err on the nerdy side.

What rock star, living or dead, had the best look ever?

H: Dusty Springfield.

N: Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy.

What is the new black?

Purple--very Jimmy Page/Keith Richards, especially on pants. Purple's been stuck in the jam-band ghetto for too long.

What is the one thing I should never go on stage without first doing or having?

N: Zipping your fly.

H: Water. Also, it's essential to have a pair of briefs on under my skirt, to avoid Basic Instinct moments. They give the illusion of showing something, while showing nothing.