Smoke Out
Nightlife: Patio/Outdoor Seating
21st Avenue Bar & Grill
If the name doesn’t make it obvious enough, the 21st Avenue Bar & Grill doesn’t expend a lot of energy trying to stand out among the other establishments in the Alphabet District. Somehow, though, its utterly nondescript design—bar on one side, lounge on the other, patio outside, no extras but a TV and video lottery machines inside—actually works in its favor, as it is a comfortable spot to grab a drink and a burger without having to fight for elbow room in an otherwise busy neighborhood.
What to drink: Keep it simple like the surroundings with a a vodka and soda, $4.
Happy hour: $2 well drinks 3-6 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: TV, koi pond.
Aalto Lounge
In a neighborhood surrounded by dirty dives and douche palaces that might make you actually utter the word “bromance” under your breath, the Aalto Lounge is a haven of slight sophistication. The thing about the Aalto is its versatility—whether going on a first date or grabbing a quick drink before a show, the atmosphere is relaxed and quiet enough to actually have a conversation. It’s also a great summer locale, with stiff gin and tonics for just $3 during happy hour and some of the tastiest bar food (Chex mix for $2!) in Southeast. (MM)
What to drink: Gin and tonic, Maker’s on the rocks.
Happy hour: 5-7 pm every day, $1 off wells and drafts, $1-$3 food menu.
Entertainment: Covered smoking patio, jukebox.
Alleyway Cafe
Coming off a recent remodel, this Alberta Street bar is all about the fair-weather days: half of its space is dedicated to patio seating. Compared with some of the more outlandish bars on Alberta, the Alleyway is spartan. The interior is designed to fit the maximum number of people, get them drunk and send them out to the patio. The mandatory art-covered walls aren’t enough to keep your eyes off the towering bar, and the stiff drinks, surprisingly good food and specials will keep people from caring about where they sit.
What to drink: PBR, $2.50.
Happy hour: $3-5 food, $2.75 well drinks, $3 microbrews 3-6 pm and 10 pm-midnight daily.
Entertainment: Pinball, dog- and cat-friendly patio.
Amnesia Brewing Company
They made paradise out of a parking lot. Then they grilled some sausages. The craft beermongers at Amnesia don’t overly trouble themselves with atmosphere: A tent covering a concrete slab on Mississippi Avenue is plenty of ambience for a year-round tailgate party, heavy on the bratwurst. It’s $6 for a spicy brat piled with sauerkraut or, if you’re feeling ambitious, $12 for a platter with two German wieners, cheese and bread. All of which, combined with summer-afternoon sunshine, is ideal motivation for ordering another Dusty Trail Pale Ale. (AM)
What to drink: A Desolation IPA, with 6.2 percent alcohol content. What was the question?
Happy hour: $2.75 pints, $10 pitchers 4-6 pm Wednesday-Friday, all night Monday-Tuesday.
Entertainment: Puppies.
Ash Street Saloon
Though no longer appropriately nicknamed “The Ash Tray” (that honor goes to the butt-strewn sidewalk outside), Ash Street Saloon remains a pinnacle fixture of the Portland music scene. Unabashedly divey, and consequently as welcoming as a broken-in pair of jeans, Ash Street plays host to up-and-coming and out-of-town bands on a nightly basis, cranking the volume to 11 whether there’s a standing-room-only crowd slurping PBR or a couple of wayward fans sipping stiff whiskey-Cokes. It’s a musical common ground for anyone looking for cheap booze, good music, and a low cover charge.
What to drink: Who are you kidding? You’re drinking Pabst, especially during happy hour, when it’s a buck.
Happy hour: Food specials, $1 Pabst, $2.50 well drinks and microbrews 4-8 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pinball, darts, live music, arcade games, pool, jukebox.
B-Side Tavern
B-Side is a no-frills hole in the wall (an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting hall in its last incarnation) where you can drink away your sorrows for cheap. Paint flakes fall from the ceiling, celebrity gossip magazines line the walls, classic punk jams pump through the speakers, and the drinks are poured stiff. Owner Tanya says of her bar, “Nothing is expensive, but nothing is too shitty, and a well whiskey shot ain’t no grain liquor.” Indeed, it’s Canadian R&R ($3). The menu bids us, “Eat up, drunky,” and offers only what can be prepared with a freezer and a microwave. Nothing will cost you more that five bucks.
What to drink: Tecate in the can, $2.
Happy hour: $1 Tecate and Hamm’s during “Crappy Hour” 5-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Jukebox, pinball.
Bar of the Gods
I do enjoy a good double entendre, and Bar of the Gods, always abbreviated B.O.G., is an accurate name in both of its meanings. You can certainly get mired down in this pantheon of booze, as the drinks are strong and cheap. The bar is dark and inviting, with strings of grape lights overhead, doing little to illuminate the grime left over from the smoking days. The bartenders are surly but sweet; the music is as loud as the crowd. It’s everything you want a dive to be, complete with a heated and covered smoking area out back, and hypnotizing lights that make it look like fireflies are on the walls, and I wasn’t even drunk yet! Also, the chili mac is a gut-filling concoction that will keep you drinking all night long.
What to drink: Gangsta-aid, $6: Emergen-C; vodka; pineapple, orange and cranberry juice; muddled lemon and lime = ambrosia.
Happy hour: $1.50 Pabst pints, $2.50 well drinks 4-8 pm daily.
Entertainment: TV, pool, pinball, Big Buck Hunter, drunken reverie.
Basement Pub
So, yeah: The Basement Pub isn’t actually in a basement. Bummer. But after spending a few hours drinking here, you’ll think you’re in a dark, damp underground spot in Southeast, only with pinball and some of the nicest bartenders in town serving microbrews and sorta healthy late-night munchies. What is this alternate universe?!? How did this fish tank get in here? Is that the Exploding Hearts on the jukebox? Bring on another round and some of those great beans and rice, kind sir. I’m here all night.
What to drink: 20-ounce glass of your favorite microbrew.
Happy hour: 3-8 pm everyday, $1.75 imperial pints and $3.50 microbrews.
Entertainment: Pinball, jukebox, board games, Ms. Pacman!
Berbati's Pan
Clogging the right ventricle of the heart of Old Town’s bar nexus, Berbati’s is best known for its music venue wing, the Pan. But don’t stay away when there isn’t a show. Although this all-purpose hangout bustles Friday and Saturday nights with club-bound weekend warriors, the Greek-family-owned, long-running cornerstone of Portland nightlife is an equally fitting place to catch a projection-screened midweek ballgame or grab a quiet beer and cheap gyro around the tastefully lit, art-adorned bar.
What to drink: A neat digestif of ouzo, $5, to wash down that tasty lamb gyro.
Happy hour: $3 well drinks and microbrews 4-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: TV, pool, pinball, jukebox, First Thursday art.
Beulahland
Don your flannel, trim that beard and cue up the Shins on your iPod—the crowd at Beulahland is so homogenous you’ll stick out if any of these elements are missing. That said, the food and drinks at this 28th Avenue standby are verifiably fantastic, with bacon-wrapped meatloaf coupled with macaroni and cheese topping the list ($8.50). The staff are sometimes indifferent, but with a giant blow-up Rainier bottle, matador-themed felt art and religious paintings on the walls, you’ll be too ironically detached to give a shit.
What to drink: Mount Hood Pale Ale, $4.
Happy hour: $3.25 microbrew pints, $3 well drinks and house wine 4-7 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: DJs, pinball, free Internet station, TV, art, jukebox.
Binks
In winter, this cozy—OK, tiny—Alberta Street bar packs in loyal patrons with a roaring fireplace. Come spring, tables and chairs sprout like crocuses on the sidewalk, and Binks’ glass-paned garage door slides open, shedding sunlight on the pool table. The bar is transformed into an ideal, airy spot to sip afternoon beers and gawk at passing weirdos. Binks’ clientele is a more down-to-earth mix than many Alberta bars, with a refreshing scarcity of junk-hugging skinny jeans and asymmetrical haircuts. Celebrate the Sabbath at Binks’ weekly Simpsons Sundays (7-8:30 pm), which pairs happy-hour pricing and Fox’s animated Sunday lineup. Amen.
What to drink: Pint of Ninkasi Believer Double Red, $4.
Happy hour: $1.75 PBR, $2.75 micros, $2.75 well drinks 4:30-6:30 pm Monday-Friday, 7-8:30 pm Sunday.
Entertainment: Pool, jukebox, fireplace.
Bye and Bye
Five months after Oregon implemented its smoking ban and Portland’s bars are all starting to look the same. Meaning they’re all trying to look like the Bye and Bye: large tables, hanging lamps, bike parking on the patio. Not that this is any fault of the Bye and Bye, which is having as much fun as a vegan bar can, serving a chili pie with nutritional yeast and playing cuts from an actual jukebox with actual CDs. Warning: This is a known hangout for Alberta Street’s notorious cardigan gangs.
What to drink: The North Williams, a Rebel Yell bourbon with housemade ginger ale, $9.
Happy hour: $2-$3 drafts, $3 well drinks, $1 off entrees 4-7 pm nightly.
Entertainment: Jukebox, Wi-Fi.
Caldera Public House
“What’s that PODS container doing there?” I exclaimed in horror to my wife as we drove past Caldera a few months ago. Turns out the storage container was for a long-overdue upstairs expansion, a reading room-style addition that lends itself well to Caldera’s mission of helping customers tune out. The classy, well-worn dark wood bar (dragged here all the way from Montana) and folksy instrumentals piped softly through the main room are a fine tonic for a horrible week. The comfort-food menu helps as well, featuring typical pub standards, like a bacon cheeseburger ($8), and some welcome deviations like bourbon-soaked Brie ($11).
What to drink: Caldera’s taps rotate ($3.75 a pint), but they always seem to feature Terminal Gravity IPA.
Happy hour: $2.75 pints and well drinks; $4 40-ounce Pabst, cosmos and lemon drops; $8 pitchers 5-6 pm and 9 pm-close Tuesday-Sunday.
Entertainment: Birdwatching on the back porch.
Cheerful Bullpen
Located just across the MAX tracks from PGE Park, the Bullpen has long been a haven where pint-guzzling Timbers fans could congregate before heading to the game. Now, after a change in ownership and a makeover courtesy of the Cheerful Tortoise, the Bullpen is equipped with 10 flat-screen TVs showing every second of the World Series and the current season of Survivor from multiple angles. Each booth across from the bar is outfitted with its own setup, ensuring that even a trip to the restroom won’t cause you to miss any action. “Could you see OK?” the bartender asked as I closed my tab, after I admitted I’d left my glasses at home. Before I could answer, the chorus of drunk Phillies fans interjected for me: “You can see everything here!” Even a blind man could see that one coming a mile away.
What to drink: One of the dozen microbrews on tap, $4.
Happy hour: $2.75 pints 3-6 pm nightly.
Entertainment: TV, sports, pool, trivia Wednesdays, karaoke Saturdays, movie night Mondays.
Claudia's
The same quandary confronts all West Coast sports bars: When all the contests are concluded by 10—or 10:30 pm, if a Pac-10 game goes to overtime—how do they keep the beer-sodden spectators in their seats for the four remaining drinking hours? Claudia’s, the dowager of Portland sports pubs, has devised a resourceful solution: After the last out, the bar switches to karaoke, projecting lyrics onto its largest screen. It’s an ingenious idea, not least because it allows crestfallen fans the chance to constructively vent. If the invention hasn’t quite caught on yet (the room still empties by 11), Claudia’s needn’t worry: It continues to pack ’em in with high-def TVs, cheap pints and—its claim to fame—high-backed green captain’s chairs lining the bar. “Everybody can be a queen at Claudia’s,” a weekend patron remarked. And yes, the vinyl thrones were the perfect vantage point from which to watch the decline and fall of the Blazers’ season.
What to drink: Budweiser, $3, or, if you’re feeling fancy, Hopworks IPA, $4.
Happy hour: Rotating discounts 4-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: TV, sports, pool, karaoke, Wi-Fi, Golden Tee Golf.
County Cork
Named for Ireland’s southernmost county, this pub aspires more to quaint Celtic village camaraderie than hooligan rowdiness. With only beer and wine on offer and last call at midnight, County Cork draws a mellow, fleece-clad crowd of thirty- and fortysomethings, who at their wildest stomp along with the Irish musicians who set up in a corner of the bar, and perhaps slosh a little Guinness on the table. Well-executed Emerald Isle pub fare populates CC’s menu: hearty pasties filled with beef and root vegetables and the essential bangers and mash. A plate of pub grub, a pint of something opaque and a couple rounds of cricket on one of County Cork’s dartboards might just make for the perfect quiet weekend night.
What to drink: Anything on nitro.
Happy hour: $3.25 microbrews, $3.75 imports 4-6 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Darts, live music, Wi-Fi.
EastBurn
After just over a year of operation, EastBurn has overcome opening jitters to become one of the hottest bars in town for the sort of Portlanders who prefer beer and Skee-Ball to Red Bull and tube tops. The reason for its success? Diversity and deals: Upstairs you can find live music, a publike atmosphere, swing chairs and a fire-lit patio. Downstairs the vibe is more clubby, with DJs, fish tanks and low-lit funkiness. But let’s not forget the most impressive part—$2 pint night on Tuesdays, with 16 beers on tap, and $3 whiskey on Wednesdays. And for your birthday? Take the EastBurn challenge and bring up to nine friends to drink for free for one hour. You’ll have to sign up a week in advance and in person.
What you are drinking: A 10-ounce glass of Arrogant Bastard Ale, $4.25.
Happy hour: $3 draft pints and well drinks, $5 house cocktails 4-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Skee-Ball, arcade games, pinball, live music, trivia Sundays, crayons.
Goose Hollow Inn
There are few better places in town to while away the hours with a cold one on a warm summer evening while watching the MAX trains swoosh by than the outdoor patio of ex-Mayor Bud Clark's tavern. And a cozy booth inside, under the string of colored lights is a pretty damn good way to get warm with a beer on a cold winter night. The service isn't speedy, and the food is middling (a $15 pizza is a solid and filling bet), but between the bar's 13 draft offerings--from PBR ($2.50 for a 20-ounce) to Guinness ($4.75 for a 20-ounce)--and lore about Clark (the former mayor once told Tom Brokaw over beers that then-Commissioner Mildred Schwab "could only have an orgasm at budget time"), this place is a must-visit Portland landmark. (HS)
What to drink: a 20-ounce Henry Weinhard's, $3.
Entertainment: Live music, TV.
HENRY STERN. 1927 SW Jefferson St. 228-7010. goosehollowinn.com MapGreen Dragon
The cavernous pub, which earned tremendous popularity for its 18 rapidly rotating taps, meet-the-brewer nights and terrific patio, has changed very little since it was purchased by Rogue Ales in November. Prices have gone up slightly, the music has improved, the service is more attentive, and a case of dragon-themed merchandise has appeared, but the feared Pearlification has failed to occur. The bar still offers a bewildering variety of beers of all sorts for around $4 to $6 (only one tap has been appropriated by Rogue) with mediocre expensive food and a nice shuffleboard table.
What to drink: Mad River “Serious Madness” Black Ale, $4.75.
Happy hour: Cheap food 4-6 pm daily.
Entertainment: Shuffleboard, meet-the-brewer nights, live music.
Hopworks Urban Brewery
Former Laurelwood brewer Christian Ettinger opened his barrel-ceilinged temple to organic beer, fashioned from the bones of a bulldozer showroom, on gritty Southeast Powell Boulevard last year. The crowds haven’t left since. The sustainably constructed space, decorated with bike frames and half-keg flower planters, is usually packed with chatty bands of young parents clinking steins of velvety Hopworks IPA ($4.50) and jiggling chubby babies on their laps. Then there’s the after-work nibblers and serious beard- and beer tee-sporting fellows admiring HUB’s big black chalkboard of wonders, which carefully notes the ABV (alcohol by volume), OG (original gravity) and IBU (international bitterness units) of each of the 10 organic brews on tap and a pair of cask ales on offer at the time. There’s seating for legions, with an upstairs loft full of tables for folks chowing on pizza and other pub standards. HUB doesn’t take reservations Friday through Sunday, so don’t ask. Just grab another beer and enjoy the wait.
What to drink: RIP City Style (Terry) Porter, $4.50 for a 16.5-ounce stein; 10 beer sampler, $7.50.
Happy hour: Cheap eats menu $1.75-$3.75, 75 cents off pints 3-6 pm daily, 9-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 10 pm-midnight Friday-Saturday.
Entertainment: Patio, TV, pool, the most powerful restroom hand dryers in the universe.
Horse Brass Pub
When Portland bars went smoke-free on Jan. 1, 2009, we worried it would spell the end of Southeast Portland’s venerable Brit pub, the Horse Brass. Not because the 33-year-old bar—incubator of Portland’s craft-brewing explosion—wouldn’t retain its loyal patrons, but because we assumed its billowing, milkshake-thick clouds of cigarette smoke were load-bearing, structural elements of the building, without which the sprawling pub would collapse. Thankfully, the Horse Brass and its epic tap list still stand. Even in beer-obsessed Portland, the bar’s brew roster is impressive: 50-plus constantly rotating drafts, including Rogue’s Younger’s Special Bitter, commissioned by HB owner and publican supreme Don Younger in honor of his brother William. This is a great place to experiment with a pint of something new. Just pluck a dart from one of the pub’s boards, launch it at the tap list and don’t ask questions.
What to drink: A pint of something hoppy you’ve never heard of before.
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Darts, TV.
LaurelThirst Public House
This pub is all about comfort: Live music every night in a setting that feels like a really cool basement, with an exposed brick wall, cracked leather bar stools, jeans-wearing clientele and pinot gris served in a regular glass if you feel compelled to order wine. Beer is the ticket here, with a nice selection of 17 drafts, including $4.25 pints of German pilsner, a Butt Crack Brown from the Klamath Basin and local offerings such as the Laurelwood Tree Hugger Porter.
What to drink: A pint of Terminal Gravity IPA, $4.25.
Happy hour: $2 PBR and $3.50 microbrews, 9 am-5 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Live music, pool, pinball.
Laurelwood Public House and Brewery
In a space that once housed the meatballs and musicals of Sylvia’s Class Act dinner theater, Laurelwood’s sprawling brewpub is awash in squealing children and award-winning ales. At its best, the brewery’s fourth outpost is a rowdy, family-friendly destination, with pitchers of pitch-perfect craft beers for adults and a play area for tots. At it’s worst, the pub feels like a Fuddruckers: The food is of middling quality and not cheap ($11 for most burgers), and just inside the main entrance is a crass merchandise counter, full of branded T-shirts and pint glasses. Still, there’s no knocking the beer, like LW’s beer-nerd-approved Organic Free Range Red, which stands out in the recent slew of hoppy reds gaining ground on the IPA as the Northwest’s favorite style. So snag a pint or nine, and plant yourself on the second-story patio, above the kiddies and corniness.
What to drink: Pint of über-hoppy Workhorse IPA, $4.25.
Happy hour: $3 pints, $4 food 3-6 pm and 9 pm-midnight daily.
Entertainment: Adorable, loud children.
Lucky Labrador Brew Pub
Eat your heart out, meat markets. With an on-site brewery pouring fresh stouts, ales and barleywines, the Lucky Lab is also one of the best places to meet bitches. It’s a favorite hangout for booze-happy dog owners, boasting a massive, mutt-friendly patio, half covered, half soaked in the sun. Inside is a magnet for large groups, with banquet-hall seating to satisfy the medieval urge to swig pints and pound on big wood benches. The size of the Lab makes it the perfect last-minute meeting ground for parties numbering in the dozens, effectively rendering doggy day care unnecessary for SNOBs (Supporters of Native Oregon Beer).
What to drink: A sampler tray of six house-brewed beers, $7.95.
Happy hour: $1 off pints all day Monday.
Entertainment: Darts, dogs.
Mississippi Station
Only in Portland could a weekly spelling bee become one of the coolest bar activities in town. Hooking patrons on phonics every Sunday, along with the Pizza Pub’s fantastically huge slices, excellent beer selection and nightly live music (mostly of the acoustic variety), put it in the unlikely position to be North Mississippi’s coolest joint. For those who can’t abide children, the Atlantic Lounge in the back makes for a good grown-up experience, with candlelit ambience and excellent cocktails. The whole shebang is S-T-U-P-E-N-D-O-U-S.
What to drink: Nothing washes down pizza like a frosty pitcher of Widmer Hefeweizen, $14.
Happy hour: $1.75 cheese, pepperoni and veggie slices; $12 pitchers; 50 cents off pints 3-5 pm daily.
Entertainment: Live music, adult spelling bee Mondays.
Mock Crest Tavern
This one-time ice cream parlor maintains a lunch-counter vibe, with its kitchen visible from the street through a bay window and a $2.99 pancakes-and-eggs breakfast served to UP students and dockworkers. But this is boozing territory: Beside the grill is a deep well, bluesmen practice their licks under widescreens showing SportsCenter, and out back is a “biergarten” that—befitting the kind of brews quaffed here—looks more like somebody’s yard.
What to drink: Coors. Let’s be honest—probably five Coors.
Happy hour: $1.50 PBR tallboys, $2 Coors and Bud, $3 well drinks, $3.25 microbrews, 2-for-1 appetizers 3-6 pm nightly; $1.50 Pabst, $3.99 Bloody Marys 10 am-noon “Lunch hour” daily; free basket of Tater Tots and onion rings with purchase of a pitcher after 11 pm.
Moon and Sixpence
A trip to the Moon is a lot cheaper than hopping a plane to the U.K., and a lot healthier now that this perennial contender for biggest ashtray in town is smoke-free by order of the state. The cottage pie ($7.95) provides a great base on which to load an amazing selection of domestic and imported beers, and try your luck against the regular dart masters. We’re talking the NBA of pointy projectiles here.
What to drink: If there’s a bottle of good Euro brew they don’t have, you don’t need it. Imperial pints (20 ounces) of Guinness and Red Seal, $5.
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Foghorn String Band Sundays, Irish jam Mondays, Trashcan Joe Wednesdays, darts, Wi-Fi.
Morrison Hotel
The massive bottle selection that varies from month to month, usually in the range of 80 to 100 brews from Sapporo to Prague, and a great happy hour alone would be enough to make this cool green-toned, Red Sox-affiliated bar a popular stop among the post-work crowd, but the fun doesn’t stop there. Morrison Hotel also airs all Blazers games, has bathrooms wallpapered with old concert tickets and serves a mean flatbread pizza. Get it Turkish-style, topped with meat and spices and rolled up with lettuce and garlic aioli, or try your luck with a special—a vegetarian mushroom and cheese was delicious. Be ready to wait for it, though. Service can be slow.
What to drink: Something unusual from the massive bottle list, like the thick, black, powerfully coffee-flavored Hitachino Espresso Stout, $6.50.
Happy hour: $2.50 well drinks, $1 off draft pints, $4.50 cocktails 5-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Jukebox, TV, pinball, Big Buck Hunter, trivia Wednesdays.
Muddy Rudder Public House
Portland is home to a few nautically themed bars, but the Muddy Rudder feels like the kind of place a commercial fisherman might go for a pint before shoving off for a month. Granted, that might have a lot to do with the accoutrements—ship wheels, maps of the Bering Sea—and the music, particularly the Irish roundtable jams that go down on Sundays; the Sellwood neighborhood in which it resides doesn’t exactly scream “seafaring,” nor does the family-friendly patronage. Still, with outdoor seating, 10 taps and generally warm atmosphere, it’s probably the most inviting spot in the area.
What to drink: A pint of any of the rotating brews, chosen by the owner based on customer popularity, $4.25-$4.75.
Happy hour: $3 draft pints, $3.75 glasses of red and white wine 4-6 pm daily.
Entertainment: Live music.
New Old Lompoc Pub and Brewery
If Willamette Week had an official bar, this would probably be it. And not just because the ’Poc is just down the street. It also has an excellent menu ($3.95 clam chowder and $9.25 sausage mac ’n’ cheese), a nice, big covered patio and sports on TV. Bartenders spin a lot of seminal indie rock on the overhead stereo, though if you sit too close to the kitchen you’ll get an earful of metal or whatever jams the cooks are kicking out. Oh, the beer! I recommend the malty Proletariat Red ($4.25), though one could happily lose an entire evening just taste-testing them all.
What to drink: A pint of C-Note IPA ($4.25) or a 9 percent ABV seasonal ales.
Happy hour: 4-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Video poker, trivia night.
Night Light Lounge
Like Victory and the Observatory, Night Light Lounge seems a little uncertain as to whether it wants to be a bar or a restaurant. The copper-topped bar and monthly art shows are elegant, but they share a room with a billiards table and DJ station. The menu offers nachos alongside non-pubby entrees such as gnocchi and grilled scallops. This suits us just fine. Why shouldn’t we enjoy an ahi and fennel sandwich on brioche ($10) while sipping $4.50 house wine on the quiet, shady back deck? Night Light is casual and fairly cheap, but presentable enough to make a good date spot—so long as you don’t mind the occasional clatter of pool balls.
What to drink: The Art Snob: bourbon, ginger ale, orange juice and bitters, $7.
Happy hour: $3.50 microbrew pints, $4 Guinness, 50 cents off well drinks, $1 off wine 3-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pool, DJs, jukebox.
Nob Hill Bar and Grill
937 NW 23rd Ave. 274-9616. nobhillbg.ypguides.net/ MapOaks Bottom Public House
The Southeast Portland outpost of New Old Lompoc Brewing’s ever-growing local pub empire, Oaks Bottom is a cheerful, no-nonsense watering hole. And really, what else do you need? The long, skinny, green-and-gold-hued spot (go Ducks!) used to be a French café, but now the menu is strictly American—even boasting a mountain of “tachos,” the unholy union of Tater Tots and nachos ($7-$9). The pub hosts trivia every Wednesday, but it’s a sure bet that the big chalkboard will boast a wealth of Lompoc brews as well as a few rotating guests every night, from Stone IPA to an Irish lager or a Bayern Killarney hard cider.
What to drink: New Old Lompoc Condor Pale Ale, $4.25.
Happy hour: $3.25 pints, $1 off cocktails 3-6 pm and 10-close Monday-Friday, all day Saturday-Sundays. Plus, $2.50 Lompoc pints all day on Miser Mondays, $3 Bloody Marys and mimosas every Sunday.
Entertainment: Patio, TV.
On Deck Sports Bar and Grill
For a city with one pro sports team—make that one and a half with the addition of a Major League Soccer franchise—Portland is nuts about athletic competition, and few spots in town cater to that fanaticism with the upscale panache of On Deck. With roughly a fafillion flat-screen TVs positioned around the bar (and in the restrooms), it’s difficult to miss a second of any game. But even sport-ophobes can enjoy the outdoor patio, which the bar claims is the largest in the Pearl.
What to drink: A frosty pitcher of Lagunitas IPA, $14.
Happy hour: 3:30-6:30 pm Monday-Friday, 8 pm-close Sunday-Thursday, 9 pm-close Friday-Saturday.
Entertainment: TV, sports, Wi-Fi.
Paddy's Bar & Grill
Think Paddy’s and think “The Wall”: a beverage-filled 14-foot megalith to which the word “bar” does no justice. The Wall holds no fewer than 600 bottles with every flavor and shade of demon liquor imaginable, most of which may be accessed only via a vertiginous sliding ladder that presumably narrows down the eligible bartender pool considerably (acrophobes need not apply). With a name like Paddy’s, one expects the focus to be on whiskey, and you won’t be disappointed—about one-third of the bottles fall under the headings of single malt, blended, Irish, American and Canadian. Welcome to paradise.
What to drink: A glass of Jameson’s Gold, $11.50. Get that ice outta there.
Happy hour: $3.75 drafts and well drinks 3-6 pm and 10 pm-close Monday-Saturday and all day Sunday.
Entertainment: TV, 599 bottles of booze on the wall.
Produce Row Cafe
The name might suggest shots of wheatgrass more than whiskey, but Produce Row, hidden among the warehouses of industrial Southeast, is one of the most universally beloved drinkeries in the city, bringing together the usually stratified groups of fashionable young things and the tot-toting older guard. Considering its locale has zero foot traffic, the bar’s popularity is a testament to the Stumptownian drive to drink in the best environment available. And with a rotating roster of more than 200 beers and a sweet heated patio, there are few better.
What to drink: The Round Trip, 7-ounce samples of eight beers of your choosing, $18—it’s the best way to absorb the Row’s selection of porters, pale ales, ambers and lagers.
Happy hour:$3 well drinks, $.50 off draught pints, $11-$13 pitchers (other than High Life, which is $7), $2.50-$4 food 4-7 pm Monday-Saturday.
Entertainment: Live music, pool.
MATT SINGER. 204 SE Oak St. 232-8355. www.producerowcafe.com MapRed Fox
Minutes after ducking out of the rain and into Red Fox, a friend of mine declared it to be the archetypal Portland bar. Which is hard to deny, what with the wordless-logo shingle out front, the taxidermied Vulpes vulpes mounted over the liquor cabinet, the asymmetrical chandeliers and the blackboard listing a formidable selection of craft beers. It also holds to civic tradition by being the latest tenant of a space with high turnover—within the past two years, the garden walkway previously led to Small World Cafe and the Albina Green. Red Fox makes far stronger use of the space—its hardwood and crimson paint bring to mind the Overlook Hotel’s Lloyd the Bartender.
What to drink: $1 can of Old German.
Happy hour: $1 off drafts 3-7 pm nightly.
Entertainment: Jukebox, Wi-Fi.
Rontoms
Although it’s located right on the highly visible corner of Southeast 6th Avenue and East Burnside Street, I tend to drive past Rontoms without noticing it. I’m going to do the logical thing and blame this on the nondescript, warehouse-style building’s total lack of signage. The bar’s elusiveness, though it can be a pain in the ass, is endearing. Inside, Rontoms gives off a vintage air—specifically, the sort of air you might find in your grandmother’s basement. Secondhand couches and tables are strategically clumped across the room, allowing intimate conversations among friends, and the bar features a backyard smoking patio complete with a fire pit and pingpong table.
What to drink: A bottle of Celebrator doppelbock, $4.
Happy hour: $4 food menu, $3 well drinks 4:30-6:30 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Live music, movie nights, board games, Wi-Fi.
Rotture
If you want to see Rotture at its full potential, visit on a Thursday for the bar’s legendary soul night—an evening full of sweaty bodies, projections of ’70s videos and DJs spinning soulful tracks, all for a $3 cover. This crowd is eclectic. Guys wearing fedoras smoke cigarettes on the rooftop patio and chat with ladies who look like Urban Outfitters models, while flat-brimmed baseball-capped dudes grind on girls in booty shorts on Rotture’s small stage. If bumpin’ and grindin’ ain’t your thang, don’t fret—Rotture hosts live music of all genres. (KN)
What to drink: Hamm’s tall boy, $2.50.
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Live music, DJs.
Sapphire Hotel
Asian-inspired decorations mix with American food and libations at the Sapphire Hotel, a neighborhood joint that offers a full dinner menu with starters like salmon corn cakes ($10) and entrees that include pomegranate-glazed hanger steak ($15) and butternut-squash enchiladas ($11). In true Southeast Portland form, the Sapphire Hotel uses organic and locally grown ingredients whenever possible. Drinks here take their inspiration from the location’s history as a seedy hotel “inhabited by sailors, travelers and ladies of the night,” according to the menu. “The Lobby” is a martini with lemon vodka, cranberry, mango and fresh lime ($8), and “The Bellhop” is housemade hot mulled wine ($8).
What to drink: An $8 specialty cocktail like the “Room Service” (a marionberry margarita) or a bubbly Bellini for $6.
Happy hour: $5 nightly drink special, $4 house wine, $2 PBR tall boys, $4 well drinks, range of discounted hors d’oeuvres 4-6pm daily, 10 pm-close Sunday-Thursday.
Entertainment: Live jazz Sundays, Saturday and Sunday brunch 9 am-2 pm with $10 bottomless mimosas.
Shanghai Tunnel
A couple of blocks north of Burnside you can get the official tour of Old Town-Chinatown’s 19th-century network of underground passages, notorious for their use as holding pens for unfortunate “Shanghaied” drinkers while they awaited sale to shorthanded ship captains. Just south, you can sit in one such tunnel and get wasted while listening to Slayer. Clearly, little black paint was spared during the conversion to underground bar, as Shanghai Tunnel retains an appropriately eerie “what happened here?” ambience and typically blasts a metallic soundtrack to match. For those of a less subterranean temperament, the heated outside patio offers some of the finest people-watching in town.
What to drink: A Samurai Kiss, $9: Tequila Herradura, pomegranate liqueur, fresh lime juice and sugar rim.
Happy hour: $1 off beer, $2 off well drinks 5-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pool, video games, pinball, Wi-Fi.
Side Street Tavern
In a mid-Southeast Belmont Street concentration of bars that runs from hip (Aalto Lounge) to cool (Blue Monk) to the perfect venue for watching ultimate fighting (Belmont’s Inn), Side Street is refreshingly lacking in attitude. You can play pool badly and nobody cares, tie your dog up to an outside table or eat some of Southeast’s best Tater Tots ($4) baked up fresh in one of the city’s smallest kitchens.
What to drink: Lagunitas IPA on tap ($4) if you’re flush, PBR ($2.50) if you are not.
Happy hour: 4:30-6:30 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: TV, pool, jukebox, pinball.
The Florida Room
With its covered patio packed with smokers and worn booths full of boozing regulars, the tropical diner-ish Florida Room is North Killingsworth’s dive-away-from-home. The well drinks are stiff and the friendly staff’s Sunday “Church of the Bloody Mary” brunch (11 am-4 pm), complete with biscuits and gravy, eight kinds of Marys and David Bowie on the speakers, is righteously packed. A full poolroom in back boasts Sopranos pinball and a photo booth ($3), but the real draw here is cheap pub grub (corndogs, tots, deep fried avocado) and can after can of $1 Old German.
What to drink: Ginger-infused bourbon and orange-spiced tea Cure All, $6; Old Germans.
Happy hour: Free pool, 50 cents off draft beers and well drinks, $2.75 food menu 3-7 pm daily. Happy-hour pricing anytime for service-industry workers—show OLCC card or food handler’s permit.
Entertainment: TV, pool, pinball, photo booth.
The Nest
During the warmer months, nothing beats enjoying a beer—or three—on a really nice patio. The Nest might have the best outdoor area in all of Portland; so large it could almost be considered a backyard, it’s the best place to play horseshoes or enjoy a quick smoke now that the smoking ban is in full effect. Maybe it’s just the cheap drinks (just $2.50 for a whiskey ginger during happy hour), but the Nest is also one of the most entertaining places for people-watching. On a recent visit, a loud, drunk male in an ironic trucker hat wasn’t just wasted, he was “Tyler Durden dirty blackout drunk,” as he shouted to a friend. You go, dude!
What to drink: Whiskey ginger, PBR.
Happy hour: $1 select domestics and $2.50 wells 4-6 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Jukebox, pool, live music, pinball, horseshoes.
The Slammer Tavern
It is no longer legal to put match to cigarette while sipping your rye. What reason is left to go to the bar? Here’s one: cheap booze. Pints of Kokanee get passed across the horseshoe counter for $2. (If you’re wondering whether this is the kind of bar that will mix you a specialty cocktail, consider that this is the kind of bar where the men’s room does not have a door.) Even after several refurbishings, the picnic-table decor still resembles that of a strip-mall Mexican restaurant that has forgotten to serve Mexican food (except on taco Wednesdays!), but the Slammer is a corner bar so enchanting you may be moved to stand on an outdoor table and sing along to “Rocket Man” playing on the loudspeakers. After which the regulars will come outside and congratulate you.
What to drink: Beam and Coke gets poured strong for $4.50.
Happy hour: $2.50 well drinks Monday-Tuesday and Thursday-Saturday, $1.50 tacos Wednesday.
Entertainment: Pinball, Big Buck Hunter.
The Standard
What makes the Standard stand out? Owner Reed Lamb has taken his laid-back, welcoming attitude and “barified” it in this Kerns neighborhood hangout. Great staff, cheap drinks, good food and a large selection of bar games guarantee there’s something for everyone. The Standard draws a pretty consistent crowd, but there’s plenty of space to go around. Show up with a group or go solo—you may end up behind the curtain of the photo booth taking scandalous snapshots. The hand-finished shuffleboard table has a distinctive crook that lends home court advantage for the regulars, so watch out!
What to drink: Stiff whisky ginger with lime, $3.
Happy hour: $1 Hamm’s, $2 well drinks, $2.50 draft pints 4-6 pm daily.
Entertainment: Shuffleboard, photo booth, pool, jukebox, pinball, arcade games.
Tonic Lounge
One of the most awesomely schizophrenic bars in Portland, the Tonic Lounge comprises two distinct drinking spaces, divided by a hallway. On one side you have an almost English pub setting, with a fireplace, TVs and a laid-back feel; on the other is a stage that plays host to genres from hip-hop to metal. It may feel odd to be relaxing by the fire while screams of anarchy come from the local punk band mere feet away, but after a few house cocktails (they change every night) you probably won’t even notice.
What to drink: Daily specialty drinks, including the $6 watermelon Long Island.
Happy hour: $3 well drinks and drafts 4-7 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Pool, live music, jukebox.
Vault Martini
Some bars give away matchbooks. Others? T-shirts. Vault Martini, a Pearl District date destination that has the guts to serve a cocktail called the Pooh’tini, is so confident in its femininity it considered in April giving away souvenirs only women could love: those ingenious hookie things that make it possible to hang your purse from the edge of the bar! The cocktail menu at Vault is so extensive it’s divided into handy categories like “sweet,” “savory,” “bubbly” and “chocolates.”
What to drink: The Raspberry Drop, $7.50, tastes like a melted Popsicle—only colder, sweeter and better.
Happy hour: $3 beers, $4-$5 martinis 4-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Fireplace, DJs.
Vendetta
This low-slung bar on North Williams Avenue is thoughtfully designed and even a little sexy, but doesn’t feel pretentious—maybe thanks to the shuffleboard table along one wall, presided over by a mural of stylized, multicolored wasps. In the gray months, pull up a black leather bar stool and pick your poison from the luminous, backlit bar. When the sun shines, Vendetta doubles its appeal with a handsome back patio of raked gravel where rough-hewn picnic tables are scattered among raised planter beds. Stop by on Tall Boy Tuesdays for $1.50 16-ouncers of PBR and Olympia, and don’t leave without tossing some sand on the board and getting your shuffle on.
What to drink: Shot of Jack, Rainier back.
Happy hour: $3 well drinks, 50 cents off beer 3 pm-6 pm daily; $1.50 Rainier Sundays.
Entertainment: Shuffleboard, Wi-Fi, DJs.
Victory
More bars should have windows. The daylight streaming through the storefront panes isn’t the first thing you notice at Victory—that’s probably the wraparound black-leather booths, the vaguely Parisian tin ceiling tiles or the curtains printed with a patchwork of propaganda posters and political cartoons—but you’ll catch it eventually. “Hot damn!” you’ll think, as you sip a glass of potent nutmeg-scented sangria ($6) and peruse the house copy of Francis Ellington Leupp’s 1899 masterpiece, How to Prepare for a Civil Service Examination, with Recent Questions and Answers. “You can read in here!” You’ll have to: Victory’s list of imported beers offers 38 bottles, and the wine selection is only slightly smaller. The crowd is bookish, too; every one of the solo drinkers at a recent visit had a novel in hand.
What to drink: Corpse Reviver No. 4 cocktail (“Too complicated to describe, something to do with gin and Fernet, revive tonight”), $6.
Happy hour: $1 off draft beer and wine, $5 menu 5-7 pm and 10 pm-close Monday-Saturday.
Entertainment: What Will I Become? The Career Game for Boys..
Widmer Gasthaus Pub
The flagship restaurant of Rob and Kurt Widmer’s wheat-beer label is tucked beneath the interstate overpasses and behind the industrial docks—which makes it no less pleasant a spot to dine al fresco on the popular chicken schnitzel ($13.95). The high-ceilinged dining hall, which sits next to the brewery, feels like a cross between Oktoberfest and a TGI Friday’s—the family-boozing atmosphere makes it a decent place for Dad to take the children for lunch while he watches a ballgame. To catch the Blazers, however, he’ll have to walk across the street to the 104-year-old McMenamins hotel White Eagle (page 8): Even though Widmer Brothers is a Rose Garden sponsor, its bar doesn’t subscribe to Comcast.
What to drink: Hef, $4, with a Widmer root beer for the kid.
Happy hour: $2 pints, food specials noon-5 pm Sunday, 4 pm-close.
Entertainment: TV.
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