Smoke Out
Nightlife: Live Music
Ash Street Saloon
Though no longer appropriately nicknamed “The Ash Tray” (that honor goes to the butt-strewn sidewalk outside), Ash Street Saloon remains a pinnacle fixture of the Portland music scene. Unabashedly divey, and consequently as welcoming as a broken-in pair of jeans, Ash Street plays host to up-and-coming and out-of-town bands on a nightly basis, cranking the volume to 11 whether there’s a standing-room-only crowd slurping PBR or a couple of wayward fans sipping stiff whiskey-Cokes. It’s a musical common ground for anyone looking for cheap booze, good music, and a low cover charge.
What to drink: Who are you kidding? You’re drinking Pabst, especially during happy hour, when it’s a buck.
Happy hour: Food specials, $1 Pabst, $2.50 well drinks and microbrews 4-8 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pinball, darts, live music, arcade games, pool, jukebox.
Candlelight Cafe and Bar
Stepping into the Candlelight on a Sunday night is like entering a new world filled with fortysomething swingers, pingpong and slap bass. Yeah, you heard me correctly: Even though the joint offers free live jazz and funk music every night of the week, if you get there before 8:30 pm you can duke it out in a game of table tennis with one of the regulars for a cheap PBR. It’s like time stopped in 1984: The whole interior—from the TVs built into cubbies in the stucco walls to the hanging raindrop light fixtures—seems designed by a decorator who just watched Purple Rain for the first time. Even the pingpong balls are purple. As the funk band unloads a pair of five-string basses, we know it’s time to get down. A woman at the pingpong table drops her paddle and immediately hits the dance floor, asking for “When Doves Cry.” No surprise there.
What to drink: A pint of Lagunitas IPA, $4.
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Live funk, jazz and blues, TV, pingpong, pool.
Club Calabash
“People were asking me for fuzzy navels. I don’t know what that is! A rum and Coke, yes, I can do that,” says Tony Alabi. The owner of Calabash, Portland’s new “world beat headquarters,” is chatting about playing bartender. Alabi may not know cocktail recipes so well, but his expertise in African and Caribbean music should help balance things out. The bar, named for the large, meaty gourds grown in Alabi’s home country of Nigeria, is comfortable, clean and airy—half dining room and half dance space. Located along a main artery of downtown, Calabash at the moment is fairly quiet, save for Alabi’s amiable, Nigerian-accented voice. The partially completed Southern soul food dinner menu includes handmade hush puppies, biscuits, catfish and quail. Nights featuring resident reggae and dancehall DJs like Kal-El are in the works. (SM)
What to drink: Alabi whips me up a tequila- and grenadine-laced libation ($5), equal parts sweet and smooth. We name it “The Tony.”
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Live music, DJs, dancing.
County Cork
Named for Ireland’s southernmost county, this pub aspires more to quaint Celtic village camaraderie than hooligan rowdiness. With only beer and wine on offer and last call at midnight, County Cork draws a mellow, fleece-clad crowd of thirty- and fortysomethings, who at their wildest stomp along with the Irish musicians who set up in a corner of the bar, and perhaps slosh a little Guinness on the table. Well-executed Emerald Isle pub fare populates CC’s menu: hearty pasties filled with beef and root vegetables and the essential bangers and mash. A plate of pub grub, a pint of something opaque and a couple rounds of cricket on one of County Cork’s dartboards might just make for the perfect quiet weekend night.
What to drink: Anything on nitro.
Happy hour: $3.25 microbrews, $3.75 imports 4-6 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Darts, live music, Wi-Fi.
Dante's
Take pretty much everything you’d expect from a Portland bar. Bands both obscure and national. Tatted punkers intermingling with old codgers. Stiff drinks. And, on special nights, fire, chains, whips and nudity. Dante’s is among the most stereotypically Portlandian of the city’s bars, offering everything from the band Karaoke From Hell to the SINferno Cabaret’s fetishistic eroticism, live music nearly every night and even comedy. Despite its infernal decor, the bartenders are friendly and the vibe inclusive, making this the most comfy bar this side of the river Styx.
What to drink: A flammably strong rum and Coke to take the edge off the whip lashes, $4.50.
Happy hour: $1.50 pizza, $3.50 well drinks 4-8 pm nightly.
Entertainment: Live music, pool, TV, karaoke, DJs, burlesque, Wi-Fi.
Gold Dust Meridian
If Rontoms (page 23) is in essence a loving tribute to a late-’60s basement, Gold Dust Meridian—a dim, noisy bar in a ranch-style former accountant’s office—is the living room with the built-in bar, starburst clocks, knobbly light fixtures and wood paneling. The leather-upholstered captain’s chairs and tall booths envelop the young, professional and very loud patrons. The walls are hung with local art, all of which, but for one painting of a topless gal in a fedora, is for sale. The food is good and fairly priced, and the bartenders are sharp; $3 will buy you a liberal plate of salted nuts and cured olives, and another $7 brings a very nice Rob Roy (called a Brandon Roy, here).
What to drink: A Sazerac, $7. If you’re really thirsty, try a 60-ounce “Scorpion Bowl,” $21-$24.
Happy hour: 50 cents off beer and well drinks, $1 off wine pours 2-8 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pool, jukebox, board games, Wi-Fi.
Goodfoot
The Goodfoot has a good reputation for a good reason—the 4,000-square-foot bar is split into a pubbish upstairs and a clubbish basement. Upstairs is a great place to start your night, with tons of space, good beers, pool tables and knock-’em-dead garlic fries ($4.50). Below things really heat up Wednesday through Saturday with live music and DJs. Friday is soul night, one of the best dance parties in town. But beware of the meat market—it can get scary down there. Check the website for music listings.
What to drink: Whiskey and Coke, $4.
Happy hour: $4 food menu and rotating drink specials 5-7 pm nightly.
Entertainment: Pool, pinball, DJs,
Goose Hollow Inn
There are few better places in town to while away the hours with a cold one on a warm summer evening while watching the MAX trains swoosh by than the outdoor patio of ex-Mayor Bud Clark's tavern. And a cozy booth inside, under the string of colored lights is a pretty damn good way to get warm with a beer on a cold winter night. The service isn't speedy, and the food is middling (a $15 pizza is a solid and filling bet), but between the bar's 13 draft offerings--from PBR ($2.50 for a 20-ounce) to Guinness ($4.75 for a 20-ounce)--and lore about Clark (the former mayor once told Tom Brokaw over beers that then-Commissioner Mildred Schwab "could only have an orgasm at budget time"), this place is a must-visit Portland landmark. (HS)
What to drink: a 20-ounce Henry Weinhard's, $3.
Entertainment: Live music, TV.
HENRY STERN. 1927 SW Jefferson St. 228-7010. goosehollowinn.com MapHobo's
Situated a few blocks down from gay clubs Darcelle XV and CC Slaughters and within sight of notorious meat markets Dixie Tavern and Pala, Hobo’s entertains an array of Portlanders, many of them looking to get laid. Although primarily a restaurant (and a good one at that), the bar at Hobo’s offers up some stagger-inducing drinks. Curious what a $20 shot of tequila tastes like? Chase it with a Pabst. It’s a relaxed and casual place to go before heading to the more hectic clubs nearby.
What to drink: That $20 tequila, maybe.
Happy hour: $1 off all drinks 4-6:30 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pool, live piano music.
Holocene
Looking for the coolest people in town? The trendsetters, the influentials, the outlandishly chic? You’ll find them hanging out at this unmarked warehouse, where weekend dance parties attract lines around the block and the high white walls are adorned with odd art installations. Whether the crowd is full of indie alt-rockers nodding gently to some soulful singer or giggling girls jangling their bangles for the Atlas world dance party, rest assured they probably dress better than you, order better drinks and listen to better music. No. There are no exceptions.
What to drink: Whiskey, bitters and ginger ale with lemon zest, $6.
Happy hour: $1 off all beer and wine, $2 off all liquor 5-8 pm Fridays.
Entertainment: Frequent live shows, DJs and art installations.
Jimmy Mak's
If every successful club has a niche, Jimmy Mak’s has two: great jazz and strikingly gorgeous bartenders. Both seem to set well with the white-haired boomers and pre-boomers that make up the swank downtown club’s core demographic, as do the young musicians who come in search of inspiration or delicious falafel ($8). Despite its tennis-court size, Jimmy Mak’s retains most of the atmosphere of previous location. It’s still the house that Mel Brown built—the legendary Portland drummer plays Tuesday through Thursday.
What to drink: Whiskey, neat, no chaser.
Happy hour: $5 food menu 5-7 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Live music.
LaurelThirst Public House
This pub is all about comfort: Live music every night in a setting that feels like a really cool basement, with an exposed brick wall, cracked leather bar stools, jeans-wearing clientele and pinot gris served in a regular glass if you feel compelled to order wine. Beer is the ticket here, with a nice selection of 17 drafts, including $4.25 pints of German pilsner, a Butt Crack Brown from the Klamath Basin and local offerings such as the Laurelwood Tree Hugger Porter.
What to drink: A pint of Terminal Gravity IPA, $4.25.
Happy hour: $2 PBR and $3.50 microbrews, 9 am-5 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Live music, pool, pinball.
Mississippi Pizza/Atlantis Lounge
Only in Portland could a weekly spelling bee become one of the coolest bar activities in town. Hooking patrons on phonics every Sunday, along with the Pizza Pub’s fantastically huge slices, excellent beer selection and nightly live music (mostly of the acoustic variety), put it in the unlikely position to be North Mississippi’s coolest joint. For those who can’t abide children, the Atlantic Lounge in the back makes for a good grown-up experience, with candlelit ambience and excellent cocktails. The whole shebang is S-T-U-P-E-N-D-O-U-S.
What to drink: Nothing washes down pizza like a frosty pitcher of Widmer Hefeweizen, $14.
Happy hour: $1.75 cheese, pepperoni and veggie slices; $12 pitchers; 50 cents off pints 3-5 pm daily.
Entertainment: Live music, adult spelling bee Mondays.
Mississippi Station
Only in Portland could a weekly spelling bee become one of the coolest bar activities in town. Hooking patrons on phonics every Sunday, along with the Pizza Pub’s fantastically huge slices, excellent beer selection and nightly live music (mostly of the acoustic variety), put it in the unlikely position to be North Mississippi’s coolest joint. For those who can’t abide children, the Atlantic Lounge in the back makes for a good grown-up experience, with candlelit ambience and excellent cocktails. The whole shebang is S-T-U-P-E-N-D-O-U-S.
What to drink: Nothing washes down pizza like a frosty pitcher of Widmer Hefeweizen, $14.
Happy hour: $1.75 cheese, pepperoni and veggie slices; $12 pitchers; 50 cents off pints 3-5 pm daily.
Entertainment: Live music, adult spelling bee Mondays.
Mock Crest Tavern
This one-time ice cream parlor maintains a lunch-counter vibe, with its kitchen visible from the street through a bay window and a $2.99 pancakes-and-eggs breakfast served to UP students and dockworkers. But this is boozing territory: Beside the grill is a deep well, bluesmen practice their licks under widescreens showing SportsCenter, and out back is a “biergarten” that—befitting the kind of brews quaffed here—looks more like somebody’s yard.
What to drink: Coors. Let’s be honest—probably five Coors.
Happy hour: $1.50 PBR tallboys, $2 Coors and Bud, $3 well drinks, $3.25 microbrews, 2-for-1 appetizers 3-6 pm nightly; $1.50 Pabst, $3.99 Bloody Marys 10 am-noon “Lunch hour” daily; free basket of Tater Tots and onion rings with purchase of a pitcher after 11 pm.
Moon and Sixpence
A trip to the Moon is a lot cheaper than hopping a plane to the U.K., and a lot healthier now that this perennial contender for biggest ashtray in town is smoke-free by order of the state. The cottage pie ($7.95) provides a great base on which to load an amazing selection of domestic and imported beers, and try your luck against the regular dart masters. We’re talking the NBA of pointy projectiles here.
What to drink: If there’s a bottle of good Euro brew they don’t have, you don’t need it. Imperial pints (20 ounces) of Guinness and Red Seal, $5.
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Foghorn String Band Sundays, Irish jam Mondays, Trashcan Joe Wednesdays, darts, Wi-Fi.
Muddy Rudder Public House
Portland is home to a few nautically themed bars, but the Muddy Rudder feels like the kind of place a commercial fisherman might go for a pint before shoving off for a month. Granted, that might have a lot to do with the accoutrements—ship wheels, maps of the Bering Sea—and the music, particularly the Irish roundtable jams that go down on Sundays; the Sellwood neighborhood in which it resides doesn’t exactly scream “seafaring,” nor does the family-friendly patronage. Still, with outdoor seating, 10 taps and generally warm atmosphere, it’s probably the most inviting spot in the area.
What to drink: A pint of any of the rotating brews, chosen by the owner based on customer popularity, $4.25-$4.75.
Happy hour: $3 draft pints, $3.75 glasses of red and white wine 4-6 pm daily.
Entertainment: Live music.
Produce Row Cafe
The name might suggest shots of wheatgrass more than whiskey, but Produce Row, hidden among the warehouses of industrial Southeast, is one of the most universally beloved drinkeries in the city, bringing together the usually stratified groups of fashionable young things and the tot-toting older guard. Considering its locale has zero foot traffic, the bar’s popularity is a testament to the Stumptownian drive to drink in the best environment available. And with a rotating roster of more than 200 beers and a sweet heated patio, there are few better.
What to drink: The Round Trip, 7-ounce samples of eight beers of your choosing, $18—it’s the best way to absorb the Row’s selection of porters, pale ales, ambers and lagers.
Happy hour:$3 well drinks, $.50 off draught pints, $11-$13 pitchers (other than High Life, which is $7), $2.50-$4 food 4-7 pm Monday-Saturday.
Entertainment: Live music, pool.
MATT SINGER. 204 SE Oak St. 232-8355. www.producerowcafe.com MapQueen of Hearts Tavern
Ten minutes after my boyfriend and I get to the Queen of Hearts, a woman with a gray bob and voluminous suede parka sits down on his other side. Her name is Jennifer, and she regales us with tales of tequila-drinking adventures in Mexico and details about the (surprisingly good!) blues band—her boyfriend is the bassist—before she sees three of her friends come in. We part with hugs and promises to hang out again next week. That’s the kind of bar Queen of Hearts is: a neighborhood place with zero pretension. “This is where people go to get away from hip young jerks,” my friend says as I sip my Roots Organic Kolsch. I surreptitiously push it away and contemplate ordering a Jäger bomb.
What to drink: $4 local pints.
Happy hour: $1 Rainiers 9 pm-midnight Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Entertainment: Pool, TV, arcade games, live blues.
Red Room
A lot of local bars lost their dive status once Portland’s smoking ban cleared the clouds. But Red Room, a gritty Northeast 82nd Avenue funhouse, has more to boast than stale air. How about trivia and cheap punk, rock, metal and even blues jams six nights a week and slurring regulars who call you Jerry when you are clearly not their friend (or even a man)? Red Room’s got ’em all, as well as a recent facelift courtesy of new owner Andre Nayrey that brightened up the low-slung space’s paint job (red, of course) and added a few comfy booths and flat-screen TVs. Luckily, it did not remove the bartender’s saucy attitude.
What to drink: Mystery shot ($1 each) followed by, sweet Jesus, anything else.
Happy hour: $1 PBRs, $3 well drinks 4-8 pm Monday-Friday and “randomly.”
Entertainment: TV, live music, jukebox, sports games, pool, pinball.
Rotture
If you want to see Rotture at its full potential, visit on a Thursday for the bar’s legendary soul night—an evening full of sweaty bodies, projections of ’70s videos and DJs spinning soulful tracks, all for a $3 cover. This crowd is eclectic. Guys wearing fedoras smoke cigarettes on the rooftop patio and chat with ladies who look like Urban Outfitters models, while flat-brimmed baseball-capped dudes grind on girls in booty shorts on Rotture’s small stage. If bumpin’ and grindin’ ain’t your thang, don’t fret—Rotture hosts live music of all genres. (KN)
What to drink: Hamm’s tall boy, $2.50.
Happy hour: None.
Entertainment: Live music, DJs.
Sapphire Hotel
Asian-inspired decorations mix with American food and libations at the Sapphire Hotel, a neighborhood joint that offers a full dinner menu with starters like salmon corn cakes ($10) and entrees that include pomegranate-glazed hanger steak ($15) and butternut-squash enchiladas ($11). In true Southeast Portland form, the Sapphire Hotel uses organic and locally grown ingredients whenever possible. Drinks here take their inspiration from the location’s history as a seedy hotel “inhabited by sailors, travelers and ladies of the night,” according to the menu. “The Lobby” is a martini with lemon vodka, cranberry, mango and fresh lime ($8), and “The Bellhop” is housemade hot mulled wine ($8).
What to drink: An $8 specialty cocktail like the “Room Service” (a marionberry margarita) or a bubbly Bellini for $6.
Happy hour: $5 nightly drink special, $4 house wine, $2 PBR tall boys, $4 well drinks, range of discounted hors d’oeuvres 4-6pm daily, 10 pm-close Sunday-Thursday.
Entertainment: Live jazz Sundays, Saturday and Sunday brunch 9 am-2 pm with $10 bottomless mimosas.
Secret Society Lounge
Discreetly stowed above Toro Bravo, with windows spying down on Northeast Russell Street and an adjacent parking lot, the Secret Society Lounge fits its name quite nicely. While it’s only a narrow staircase removed from a steady stream of traffic and the occasional Wonder Ballroom crowd, Secret Society seems worlds away from aughties Portland once you’re settled in. Shades of deep walnut and burgundy line the tiny room, filled with well-preserved books and elegant artifacts from the ’40s and ’50s and primary-color paintings of Oregon lumberjacks. It’s hard not to feel as if you’re in a cozy, hidden corner of some vaguely bygone wartime era…or at least stuck in a Decemberists song.
What to drink: One of several absinthes, served in the traditional manner, $9-$11.
Happy hour: $1 off drinks for library-card holders, 5-7 pm nightly.
Entertainment: Live jazz Tuesdays, tarot card readings Wednesdays.
Slabtown
This quintessential dive bar, home to an infamous multinight garage-band festival called, appropriately, the Slabtown Bender, won’t win any beauty contests. The orange exterior is the color of baby diarrhea, and the clientele is similarly grizzled. While best known for its intimate shows, we also enjoy Slabtown on a low-key Sunday afternoon, when the pingpong table is empty, the bartenders are not busy, and hot dogs are a quarter apiece. A quarter? Well, beer has been clinically proven to kill bacteria....
What to drink: PBP, $3.25 a pint.
Happy hour: 50 cents off draft pints and well drinks 4-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Pingpong, jukebox, air hockey, pinball, live music.
Spare Room
This longtime Northeast Portland dive is the black hole of hip. And I mean that in the best way possible. Where else can you stretch out in a U-shaped booth the size of a small New England state with a cheap rum and Coke and listen to a trio of fat men cover the Band’s “The Weight”? Nowhere. And we haven’t even tackled the wonder of karaoke night (Tuesday-Wednesday) or open mic night (Sundays) or the idea that this drinker’s paradise opens at 7 am every damn day. The line of bar stools around the puffy-lipped stage and the strands of electric pink and blue running lights bordering the ceiling give the low-slung, half-a-century-old former bowling alley a strip club vibe. But the only flesh you’re gonna see here is that of the aged dancing queens shuffling through a Texas Two Step on the parquet floor when the band kicks in with “Blue Suede Shoes” (the Carl Perkins version, of course).
What to drink: Anything the sassy young waitstaff gives ya. Probably a $1.75 Hamm’s and a shot of whiskey.
Happy hour: $2.25 well drinks and 50 cents off beers 4:30-6:30 pm daily. Breakfast for $3, 7-11 am daily.
Entertainment: Live music, dancing, TV, karaoke, open mic, generation- and tax-bracket-spanning crowd.
The Nest
During the warmer months, nothing beats enjoying a beer—or three—on a really nice patio. The Nest might have the best outdoor area in all of Portland; so large it could almost be considered a backyard, it’s the best place to play horseshoes or enjoy a quick smoke now that the smoking ban is in full effect. Maybe it’s just the cheap drinks (just $2.50 for a whiskey ginger during happy hour), but the Nest is also one of the most entertaining places for people-watching. On a recent visit, a loud, drunk male in an ironic trucker hat wasn’t just wasted, he was “Tyler Durden dirty blackout drunk,” as he shouted to a friend. You go, dude!
What to drink: Whiskey ginger, PBR.
Happy hour: $1 select domestics and $2.50 wells 4-6 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Jukebox, pool, live music, pinball, horseshoes.
Tonic Lounge
One of the most awesomely schizophrenic bars in Portland, the Tonic Lounge comprises two distinct drinking spaces, divided by a hallway. On one side you have an almost English pub setting, with a fireplace, TVs and a laid-back feel; on the other is a stage that plays host to genres from hip-hop to metal. It may feel odd to be relaxing by the fire while screams of anarchy come from the local punk band mere feet away, but after a few house cocktails (they change every night) you probably won’t even notice.
What to drink: Daily specialty drinks, including the $6 watermelon Long Island.
Happy hour: $3 well drinks and drafts 4-7 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Pool, live music, jukebox.
Tugboat Brewing
Tucked into a small corner of downtown, this wonderfully homey hole in the wall buzzes with a comfortable cacophony of 10 different table-top conversations among flannel-wearing patrons and a barkeep who radiates “I’ll bring it out to you” friendliness. Dog-eared books line the pub’s wall alongside old photos of bare-knuckled boxers. And, oh yeah, the brewery’s stouts and ales all have an awesome kick.
What to drink: The house stout (14 percent alcohol).
Happy hour: $1 off pints, 4-7 pm Monday-Friday.
Entertainment: Live music, board games, cards, dominoes.
Valentine's
This small bar tucked away in an Old Town alley is usually swarming with hip kids yearning for the days of yesteryear when smoking in bars was still legal. Depending on the night, the crowd consists either of music fans decked out in tight, brightly colored clothes, ready to dance to whatever the DJ is spinning, or music fans decked out in tight, blandly colored clothes anticipating the sounds of a local indie band. If you want to catch the real appeal of Valentine’s—a dimly lit bar adorned with abstract art and mod furniture—show up early. When I visited at 8 pm on a Thursday, I was the only person there.
What to drink: A shot of absinthe, $10.
Happy hour: $3 well drinks, drafts and house wines, $1 off food 5-9 pm nightly.
Entertainment: Live music Sunday-Tuesday, DJs, film screenings Wednesday-Saturday.
Zilla Sake House
Apparently, the Sake Bomb is not the traditional way to partake of Japan’s signature rice wine. That precise and delicate ceremony—shot of sake, pint of Sapporo, splash, chug—is an entirely American invention. Who knew? For a more nuanced and traditional sake experience, duck into Zilla Sake, an intimate, low-lit Alberta sake and sushi house. The vast menu of sakes—hot, cold, sweet, dry, sparkling, flat, clear, cloudy—can be a little overwhelming, but let the staff educate you. Or split the difference with your comfort zone and order one of Zilla’s novel sake cocktails. Or just drown it in a pint of Sapporo and try not to yak on the counter.
What to drink: A tokkuri (sake pitcher) of premium daiginjo sake.
Happy hour: 5-7 pm daily.
Entertainment: Open mic, live music.
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