Interview with Bobby Trendy

[September 11th, 2002] There must be more important things in life to talk about than Bobby Trendy--but I can't think of one.

The swishiest queen to hit this summer's small screen, Bobby, claims to be 24, is an interior designer who's been summoned to decorate the former Guess model's mansion on E!'s "reality"-based The Anna Nicole Show. Though a refreshing antidote to the clenched-ass gym rat who refuses to be a flamboyant fag, Bobby has set the g/l/b/t movement back at least 30 years with his limp-wristed ways. As for his look, his specialty is creating what he calls "luxurious," over-the-top designs (think pink, fur and gold ... together). I called Bobby at his West Hollywood showroom; I wanted to find out how the master of silk and tassels lives. Here's how our interview began:

Byron : Are you gay?

Bobby: No, I'm not gay.

You're not gay?

No. I'm not gay.

Then why do you think people think you're gay?

I don't know. (Pause) JUST KIDDING (snicker, snicker)!

Oh...you are gay.

Are you gay?

I'm gay.

You sound gay.

I sound gay?

You sound gay.

I am gay. Are you gay?

I am gay.

That's great! How long have you been gay?

For-ev-er!

I could take this moment to analyze why Bobby has become a notorious figure in such a short time, but I'd rather let him speak for himself. Here are a few more Bobby bon mots:

How he got on the show: "Listen, and listen good. They saw me on E!'s Celebrity Homes, and they knew that I was deep."

On his heritage: "I was Vietnamese, but I'm as white as they can get now."

How he came by his name: "In 7th grade, they said, 'Oh, Bobby, you always wear trendy things--we should call you Bobby Trendy!'"

On his life before Anna: "[Before becoming a designer] I was just a $5-an-hour cashier at K Mart. I didn't know jack.

On working for Anna Nicole:

"She likes my ideas, and she's easy. But I hate having to deal with her penny-pincher lawyer Howard. If he pinched those pennies any tighter, they would scream."

On national affairs: "The economy is very good right now--I don't care what people say."

On not supplying all the little extras: "When you buy an outfit, they're not going to give you the underwear."

On money: "Money is the route to all happiness. When I first started making some paper, I lit up my driveway, I lit up my neck, I lit up all my fingers, like rappers do. And I like to eat. Food costs money, and I like steak."

On what he's having for dinner: "Steak, baby."

And that wasn't all. This is how our interview ended:

Bobby: Do you think I'm cute?

Byron: Absolutely.

Would you like a young boy pawing at your leg...?

Absolutely.

Saying 'Byron, Byron...take me!'

Yeah, absolutely.

Really?

Absolutely. (Long pause) OK, Bobby. I have to go now.